Thursday, and to celebrate the near death of another week we have a range of all new t-shirts,  here again for this nice Summer weather.
This time it’s this rude tee shirt

Click here to buy one of these new rude tee shirts
Visit our t-shirt home page here to see the rest of the range
It reads “wanna lick?” and there’s a picture of a lollypop on there? Get it? Well, do you? If you’re a pretty girl, then the answer may well be yes from lot’s and lot’s of people, especially those who fancy themselves as cunning linguists. Why not find out and try your luck now by buying one?
Of course it doesn’t have to be taken as rude or obscene, it could just be that you’re a lolly pop sales woman, but we bet if you are and you wear this your sales will go through the roof.. from guys anyway. So that’s it, no one has an excuse not to buy this..unless you’re male, if you are, check this one out though, equivalent mens rude t-shirt, it’ll make sense then.
It comes in sizes S10, S12, Small, medium, large, XL and XXL and five colours, pale blue, navy, red, pink and black so there’s something for everyone.

An all new humorous range of shirts today;

Click here to buy one of these new humorous t-shirts

Full text reads: “Don’t Call Me a Cowgirl Until You’ve Seen Me Ride”.

We’re a big fan of these t-shirts, they’re hot. Everyone loves a cowgirl, and a ride in the cowgirl position never goes amiss. Why not send us some pics with the t-shirt on(or off)? Even dressed up as a cowgirl on a horse would be awesome. If you don’t get what we’re on about check out the diagram below..

Hopefully it’ll be a bit more fun than it looks there, the guy is clearly counting the cracks on the ceiling and wondering what’s for dinner, but the lady looks like she’s trying hard, it’s a great way to slim, if  any hotties reading this think we can help, let us know, it burns up 200+ calories an hour we’re told.

We were planning to put a photo there but we’ve deemed it too rude, plus there’s a bunch of sites you can already see that stuff anyway (about 80% of the net!) check out google image search if you must.

This humorous t-shirt is available in 7 different sizes from s-XXL and two fitted ladies sizes and 5 colours. All our t shirts are 100% cotton for a smooth, premium texture. It is preshrunk and double stitched for extra durability while having the ride of your life. Postage is free within the UK.

Click here to see the rest of our funny t-shirts

Jackalope, the rabbit riding horned bunny.

I’m really learning these roman numerals now, we’re competing with Rocky.

My pic today is this saucy, funny little number:

Click here to buy one of these rude t-shirts

Click here to check out the rest of our funny t-shirts

To celebrate the blowing of ones horn, and these awesome rude t-shirts we found out some weird stuff. It seems oral’s been popular for hundreds of years, in Ancient Greece, giving head was known as “playing the flute”… pretty classy. I guess it must have been lame if you were a musician though “I played the flute with 6 other guys for 2 and a half hours tonight”. Something else that suprises me is that in the western world- and the UK where we are, is that doctors were advising up until 1976 that the ingestion of sperm could cause induce premature labour in pregnant women (but we’re sure that pearl necklaces increase chest size and facials give you nice skin). We now know that’s not true of course, so you’ve no excuses not to choke down gallons and gallons of jizz.

Just to show you how fine and classy this act is, we got you a painting by the 18th Century French artist Édouard-Henri Avril, it’s hot, but remember.. it is art ..and,no, we don’t get the difference between fine art and porno either..

Jackalope, the love bunny

The third of our random t-shirt picks,
This ones probably one of the most vicious t-shirts we sell…

Click here to buy one of these funny t-shirts
Just incase you can’t see the text clearly it says “why kill them with kindness?” and underneath “use a claw hammer”
We got the idea whilst playing Cluedo (well not really but let’s pretend), you know all those odd weapons, some are a bit better than others – which would you rather have, the revolver, dagger or the candlestick? You’d be crazy to pick the candle, what are you going to do, scorch your enemies tie? We wouldn’t mind getting to rope up Miss Scarlett though. They should make an erotic version, the rope can stay, a ball gag, handcuffs, whips, that sort of thing. Oh and it could be in a brothel rather than some creaky old house, no more study or billiard room, just like 10 bedrooms.

These funny t-shirts are available in five colors and seven sizes from small to extra extra large. The t-shirts are pure cotton for a smooth, high quality finish and they are preshrunk and double stitched for extra durability, whilst hacking up the bastards. Shipping is free of charge within the UK.

This t-shirt is exclusive to teesbox.com

Jackalope, the angry horned bunny.

New t-shirts for the weekend!

These are great shirts, forewarned is forearmed..

click here to buy one of these humorous t-shirts

It could say “fuck on the first date”, but it doesn’t, there’s nothing like a good ripe fart to make them remember you. The noise, the smell, it’s an unforgettable experience, and one we guarantee will stay with your potential partner for years and years.

So we say, wine them, dine them, then spread those legs as wide apart as they’ll go and let rip with your special, magical noisey smell. You probably won’t find that adivce in many conventional dating books, I think because it’s such a well kept secret.
These t shirts are available in 7 different sizes from S-XXL and ladies fitted size10 and 12 and five great colours, black, pale blue, navy blue, pink, and a very striking red. All our humorous t shirts are 100% cotton for a smooth, high quality texture. It’s preshrunk and double stitched for extra durability. Postage is free anywhere in the UK, and very cheap for the rest of the world..stinkies.

Dont forget to check out our t-shirts page, which features a whole range of funny, rude and sometimes offensive t-shirts.

Jackalope, the smelly bunny.

Who doesn’t love mobility scooters? Maybe someone will chav one up one day and put a 3.0L Ford Cosworth engine in but until then, we salute this guy…

Pensioner on mobility scooter drives onto M20

After taking a seriously wrong turn an 89 year old man was caught “driving” along the hard shoulder of the M20 at Cheriton, near Folkestone, Kent.

Police were called in as cars, lorries and coaches hurtled past the man at 70mph,

He was eventually caught doing an impressive 8 mph (3 more miles and he could have got that baby upto 10!) and picked up by officers who took him home.

A Kent Police spokesman: “We received reports that a mobility scooter was travelling on the hard shoulder of the M20 on the London-bound carriageway”.

He was stopped at junction 11a and driven home with his scooter.

I can’t imagine how he ended up taking such a wrong turn, I wonder where he’d have gone if no one had stopped him?

Next story, I can’t ever type or say smokin’ without think of the cringe worthy phrase from the movie The Mask, but it’s worth it for this…

Smokin’ Sparrow

A cig loving sparrow is being blamed for a fire that caused quater of a million pounds of damage to a shop in Lincolnshire.

Paul Sheriff, 48, who runs Crescent Stores in Leasingham, was initially at a loss as to what caused the blaze, but 6 weeks on, insurance investigators have told him that they discovered 35 cigarette ends in the roof.

Their conclusion was a sparrow must have picked up a smouldering butt to feather its nest in the roof, causing the blaze.

Mr Sheriff, a non-smoker, said: “The shop was a total mess. All the suspended ceilings came down, all the electrics were down, all the fridges were broken, it was horrendous.”

A spokesman for his insurance company AXA said: “We believe it’s the first case of its kind we’ve ever had to deal with. We had to bring in a specialist to investigate.

‘I’ve certainly never come across this sort of thing before. It’s strange to think how such a little bird armed with such a small object could cause such chaos”

It reminds me of those ‘Bat Bombs’ the US developed in WWII – a little bomb strapped to a little suicidal bat.

 Don’t forget to check out all our comedy and offensive t-shirts

Jackalope, the Friday Rabbit.

Happy shakespeare’s Birthday, I could never understand anything he wrote, but I’m told it was good. He was in the pub last night I think, I’m pretty sure I heard the bar tender shout “Your Bard”. *drums* sorry.
On to more pressing issues, more new t-shirts today;
This one is of the rude variety, but we consider it to be educational too

Click here to buy one of these rude abcdefuck t-shirts

It teaches the alphabet, admittidely not the conventional one used in the UK or anywhere in the West ..or East. This is a slightly reduced version of the alphabet, and we’ve replaced the last twenty one letters of the English one with only four- f, u, c, k! You might think it sounds unusual and strange but if you were five and trying to learn this beast again imagine how much easier it would have been? So do it folks, buy and wear one of these t-shirts, for the children!

These shirts are available 7 different sizes, small, medium, large, XL, XXL, fitted size 10 and fitted size 12 & 5 excellent colours, so there’s something for everyone. All our rude t-shirts are 100% cotton for a smooth, high quality texture. It’s preshrunk and double stitched for extra durability. Postage is free anywhere in the UK.

Make sure to check out the rest of our rude t-shirts

Jackalope, the ravin’ rabbid rabbit.

Today, I’m reviewing one of my favourite t-shirts at teesbox.com

Click here to buy one of these offensive t-shirts

 Hilarious, suggestive, great looking and perhaps a little offensive, this shirt has it all. That’s why we’ve compiled a list of our top 10 scream queens, who are probably also hilarious (in a cringe worthy way), suggestive (in a huge breasted way), great looking (duh), and a little offensive (dumb blonde stereotypes everywhere). We’ve been pretty liberal with our definition of a scream queen, but we’re sure you’ll enjoy..

10 Jessica Biel (The Texas Chainsaw Massacre)

There were many pleasures in watching her shriek her way through the brutal remake of The Texas Chainsaw Massacre. We enjoyed the simple pleasures she brought to the movie like watching her roll through the mud in jeans and a little torn up white t-shirt.

9 Natasha Henstridge (Species, The Ghosts of Mars)

In 1995 Natasha rose to prominence playing the nymphomaniac alien in “Species”, plus a sequel in the late 90′s where she once again gets her kit off. If you’ve got to be killed by an alien then this has got to be the way to do it. She also played the lead in lead in John Carpenter’s movie “The Ghosts of Mars”. We want more Natasha though.

 8 Jordan Ladd (Embrace of the Vampire, Cabin Fever, Madhouse, Grindhouse, Hostel: Part II)

Something about this girl attracts sick men who want to do twisted things to her (put your hands down). She’s a tough thing and still manages to battle on even while a flesh eating virus has eaten half her face.

7 Heather Donahue (The Blair Witch Project)

At the beginning of The Blair Witch Project, Heather Donohue is a real bitch, and we kinda found ourselves rooting for her to get witch-ified. But we warmed to her as things go on and she unravels, it didn’t do any harm that she was pretty cute,.. though there’s nothing cute about the most famous scene, with the camera pointed up her nose as Heather totally breaks down into a blubbering mess. Fortunately, it was only a movie…or was it?

6 Neve Campbell (The Dark, The Craft, Scream, Scream 2, Scream 3)

Those squinty eyes and generally “I’m disgusted” look have helped her survive not one, not two, but three Scream installments. It’s no wonder those movies reinvigorated the slasher genre, heroines don’t come much sassier or sexier than Neve.

5 Fay Wray (King Kong, Doctor X, Mystery of the Wax Museum)

You’ve got to admire King Kong, not only his size, but his ability to beat the hell out of a T-Rex (he’d have come in handy in several other dino and Godzilla movies), and who can forget his fine taste – both in architecture and the ladies. The target of his lustful monkey passions was Fay Wray, who has claimed her position as number 5  in our list with an eardrum-shattering performance in 1933′s King Kong. We’ll never forget the image of a giant gorilla daintily removing Wray’s clothes, climbing the Empire State Building while carrying her, or somehow taking on the entire US air force single-handedly.

4 Jamie Lee Curtis (Halloween, The Fog)

Jamie Lee Curtis made her film debut in John Carpenter’s Halloween and she single-handedly revived the “scream queen” character. Her performance as Laurie Strode was so iconic that it would stay with her throughout her entire career. All the qualities were there – a certain innocence, an ability to retain her looks while being chased by a psycho, a scream that bursts eardrums, and a chest that could kill a man, prominently on display. But Curtis brought something new to the table- a toughness that would allow her to take on her attacker rather than just waiting around for him to make mincemeat of her which set her apart from her helpless predecessors, and something that became a key element in many of the slasher movies that followed Halloween.

3 Jennifer Love Hewitt (I Know What You Did Last Summer, I Still Know…)

Looking at Ms. Love Hewitt, it’s pretty clear she’s got an impressive pair of lungs on her, and she uses them well playing Julie James and she was great as she screamed her way through the usual cliche horror chases, always conveniently dressed in some tight, barely-there tank-top t-shirt thing. She and Freddie Prinze, Jr. were the only two survivors of the first attack of the murderous fisherman Benjamin Willis and returned for the lazily titled sequel ‘I Still Know What You Did Last Summer’. The sequel’s final scene is open to interpretation – was it a dream sequence, or did Jennifer really get dragged under the bed by nasty old Mr. Willis? We wouldn’t mind dragging her under the bed either. The third installment in the franchise is called “I’ll Always Know What You Did Last Summer” and i’ve never bothered watching it, but JLH isn’t in it, so chances are Jennifer’s character is dead, pity, we’d have loved to give her a helping hand.

2 Sarah Michelle Gellar (I Know What You Did Last Summer, Scream 2, The Grudge, The Grudge 2, The Return)

Sarah has a résumé filled with horror movies, but even if all she had done was Buffy the Vampire Slayer, she’d be high on this list. Her version of the teen queen school girl slayer made her an instant sexual fantasy magnet. Tough or helpless like in I Know What You Did Last Summer… we’d be happy to take her on either way.

1 Janet Leigh (Psycho, Halloween H20: 20 Years Later, The Fog, Night of the Lepus)

Everyone loves a bad girl, and Janet Leigh seemed so, so bad at the beginning of Psycho – a manipulative hottie with only money on her mind. After some serious thieving, she has the bad fortune to end up at the Bates Motel, this, of course, leads to one of the most jarring moments of movie history, when a shower scene that threatens to get steamy turns into a chocolate syrup soaked bloodbath and surely the most famous slasher moment of all time. Her piercing screams and the mutilation of her soapy body have stuck with us. Don’t forget to see her battling against giant rabbits in the often overlooked Night of the Lepus and in Halloween H20: Twenty Years Later.

Make sure to check out our funny, rude and offensive t-shirts

Jackalope

More new t-shirts! This one’s not for the faint hearted..

Click here to purchase one of these obscene t-shirts
This is a beaut, surely ladies (or sluts if you preffer) will be you a drink then want to do things of an adult nature to you? I’d be pretty happy with either the beer or the fuck, but you know what they say.. never look a gift horse in the mouth. I never understood that saying, what’s a gift horse and why look at it in the mouth anyway? I think “Never prematurley ejeculate in a sluts mouth” might work better, but it doesn’t roll as well off the tongue… but that’s her job anyway. It’d be nice to see a few women wearing it too, we’re sure you’d get more than a few drinks bought for you.
So yeah, buy this t-shirt to make all your fantasies (beer and sex related) come true, maybe. It’ll definitely get you lots of attention.
It’s soft to the touch(ooh err) as it’s made of 100% cotton and is double stiched and pre-shrunk for extra durability whilst you’re getting upto what ever it is you’re planning to do whilst wearing it.

Make sure to check out the rest of our funny and rude t-shirts.

Jackalope, the horny rabbit.

To celebrate a little of the summer heat we’re bringing in more and more new humorous t-shirts. Now we love this one, in a  it’s funny ‘cos it’s true kinda way.

Click here to buy one of these all new humorous t-shirts
Full text reads:
“THIS SHIRT IS ONLY
BLUE IF I’M THINKING
ABOUT BREASTS”

It’s only available in 2 colours, pale blue and a navy blue – it’d just be strange if it was in any other colour…because you’re always thinking about breasts, and it wouldn’t work, it’s like it’s reading your mind, right?
So what nicer thing to do than purchase one of these t-shirts on a nice sunny day like today? The idea of lots of huge bouncing, wet breasts probably wont cool you down much, but at least you’ll have a funny new t-shirt to wear for Summer. It’s made out of cotton so is nice and soft but is double stiched and durable to survive all of your dirty thoughts and scenarios. You can even get it in ladies sizes 10/12 – anyone else think it might be kinda hot seeing a lady wearing it? It’s available in UK size 10 and 12. But we’ve not forgotten its main audience either.. it’s available in small through to XXL for the gentlemen out there reading this.
If this floats your boat, why not check out the rest of our funny comedy, obscene and sometimes offensive t-shirts?

“Regards”,
Jackalope

Friday’s here again, so it’s time for some more funny news of the week. Firstly we’d like to say how lame it is the the thepiratebay founders have got themselves locked up  and a US$3.6 million fine as well. Arrrggh

Anyway, for the funny stuff..

A sheriff’s deputy from Louisiana claims a 54-year-old man stabbed his 63-year-old brother during an argument in their kitchen over one can of pork and beans.

Sheriff’s spokeswoman Cindy Chadwick says Willie Casst was sentenced on Tuesday with aggravated battery.

She says his brother, Agusta Wells, was treated at North Caddo Medical Center for stab wounds in his left arm and shoulder blade.

Police the two reportedly had been drinking, and say alcohol may have been a factor in the fight over the can of pork and beans which preceeded the stabbing.

Rivera says Casst picked up a kitchen knife after Wells threw a punch at him but missed.

Alcohol may have been a factor…well jeez, ya think?  They must have been some damn good beans, maybe magic  in nature. We’d also like to give another piece of news a quick mention (I know, I know, we’re spoiling you with all these Ferrero Rocher..I mean hilarious news items);

Four pythons escaped from their container in the cargo hold of an Australian plane – but this time Samuel L Jackson was nowhere to be seen

When the Qantas plane left Alice Springs on Tuesday there were 12 baby pythons in the hold, but when it arrived in Melbourne only 8 could be found.

Qantas staff were unable to locate the missing reptiles among the luggage in the hold and the aircraft was stopped, resulting in some cancelled flights. 

“The only conclusion we could draw was four of them had broken free of the packaging,” Epstein said. (round of applause deserved)

The company did not want to run the risk of the snakes reappearing mid-flight, so after establishing that the snakes were not an endangered species the aircraft was fumigated, so if they do ever show up they will be Dead Snakes on a Plane (sounds like a poor sequel).

That’s all folks, don’t forget to checkout our comedy and rude t-shirts

Jackalope.

That’s right, an all new line of obscene t-shirts for our loyal customers again.

This week we have this rather enjoyable “I love every bone in a womans body, especially mine” tee.

Click here to buy one of these obscene t-shirts

It was a close call for the favourite bone, fibula and humerus came a close second and third but at the end of the day there’s nothing like adding an extra (hopefully large) bone to her body. With so many orphises and ladies you’ll never get bored. It’s kinda like Mr Potato Head.

The t-shirts available in 7 different sizes and 5 colours. Like all our tees it is made to last, and with free postage now available for all UK customers it’s a bargain.

Did anyone catch that hilarious quote on The Apprentice last night by Ben;
“I got a scholarship to Sandhust”
Did you go?
“No”

You had to see it, but it’s probably one of the funniest and dumbest things I’ve seen on it, and now it’s captured in this blog for all eternity. Muhahah.  He’s a jerk anyway so he deserves it, let’s hope he gets fired soon.

Jackalope, the T-shirt selling, tree felling, poor spelling bunny.

It’s only Tuesday and there’s yet more t-shirts added to the site!
Okay, first here’s our first tee;

Click here to buy one of these rude t-shirts
We never much cared much for english class but we did attend (just) enough to know what a vowel is, that’s why these shirts rock so much – it doesn’t say anything offensive at all, but people reading it will fill in the blanks for you, and, with any luck will go fuck themselves. Richard Whitley will be spinning in his grave!

Click here to buy one of these humorous comedy t-shirts
Next is this humorous one, oddly enough it’s also kinda English grammar related – who knew there was so much fun to be had with it, all my education invloved was reading Shakespeare which is pretty much in another language and studying the difference between a colon and a semicolon. We made this one after pissing ourselves laughing at those losers on forums who are always going “like I’m a total genious”, when theyre clearly totally wrong about whatever point it is they’re arguing about. We’re definatley not grammar police, and I’m sure there’s a bunch of typos on our site but we love a bit of irony.

Jackalope, the rude tee lovin’ rabbit.

 

P.s. We know we raved about Red Dwarf coming back, but we didn’t promise it’d be any good. I’ve never seen so much shameless plugging.

So here’s yet something else new to us this week. To celebrate the biggest day of the week here’s the Friday Funny News, where we’ll take the funniest, oddest and most pointless news story (or even stories) of the last week and put them here to ammuse and astound.

Builder Sacked for Violating Vacuum

That’s right folks, a Polish builder who was working at London’s Great Ormond Street Children’s Hospital was supposed to be locking the site up, however a shocked security guard found the horny man naked on his knees humping the hoover. The security guard ordered him to leave the premises, however the man later told his employers he was simply cleaning his underwear, claiming it was a common practice in Poland.  Perhaps not the most convincing excuse I’ve ever heard, but it was worth a try… I guess, he still got sacked. What makes it worse is that it was one of those Henry vacs, you know the ones, with the big smiling faces, who could resist those sexy eyes?

To celebrate his awesome excuse that he was “just cleaning his underwear” we’ve got a list;
The Top 5 Things to Say when Caught Sleeping in the Office (we’re not going to give you top 5 excuses when caught doing the vac, just leave ‘em alone!)

5. “They said at the blood bank this might happen”

4. “This is the 15 minute power nap they raved about in the time management course you sent me to.”

3. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the Tip-Ex/Wite Out. You probably got here just in time.”

2. “Did you ever notice the sound coming out of these keyboards when you put your ear down real close?”

1. Slowly raise you head and say “Amen”.

Remember to check out our rude t-shirts

Jackalope, the Easter Bunny!
P.S. Dont forget Red Dwarf tonight, click here for details of this UK comedy comeback

The next eagerly anticipated installment of our t-shirt tpick of the random time frame is here!
This funny t-shirt is for the especially agitated of those amongst you.

Buy one of these funny t-shirts here
Screw that Musical crap, when you can have a good ol’ fashioned massacre instead! Speaking of Disney movies, I keep seeing some High School Musical kinda thing they’ve made (to see if they can repeat their success, let’s hope not) called Camp Rock, surely it’s not just me who thinks of Boy George every time they hear this title? Remember when Boy George joined the A-Team, now that was funny.

Mr T “I pity the fool who wont take a ride with Cowboy George” and yes, his character really was called Cowboy George.
If you’re wondering why I’m going on about the A-Team more than HSM it’s ‘cos I’ve seen plenty of A-Team eps but I wouldn’t lower myself to having to put on Disney Channel UK…not since they canned Boy Meets World anyway. Like the A-team logo this High School Massacre one has bullet holes through it so it looks great and it’s delightfully funny and offensive, I’d have killed (pardon the pun) to wear it to school on one of those no uniform days back in the day, show the bastards how close to the edge I really am *hugs*

Jackalope, your sweet rabbit of doom.