Friday Funny News

15 May

Man warned by police over chicken poo catapult

A businessman who had been the victim of several break-ins and an arson attempt decided a huge catapult was his only option. Based on the design of a Roman boulder-throwing ballista, it was originally (and rather strangley) built as a way of firing his wife, Mary across the River Avon in 1976, as part of a stunt act, however Mr Weston-Webb made his money making flooring, which is the business now protected by the catapult.
chicken poo catapult uk
He was able to modify the weapon to fire chicken poo when an alarm is triggered by an intruder. He has also devised two other weapons to catch the vandals out, a cannon that fires railway sleepers(aka railroad ties)- they have a sharpened end, with a rubber ball stuck on it, which Mr Weston-Webb insists is designed simply to knock their hoods and hats off enabling CCTV cameras to see their faces, and an exploding coffin – the coffin isn’t a great success as the criminals actually would need to climb inside it to be exploded out, but you never know.
Police have advised him to remove the weapons as the setting up of booby traps isn’t permitted under UK laws.

Maybe it’s just us weaklings at Teesbox Funny T-shirts but I’m pretty sure a whole railway sleeper flying through the air into us would do alot more than knock our hats off- I’m pretty sure it’d take our heads with it. They should let this guy design weapons for the army- the enemy wouldn’t know what hit them. The exploding coffin especially is pure Monty Python, fingers crossed one of the robbers decides to have a nap in it soon, if it gets caught on CCTV it’ll be a YouTube #1 hit for the next 150 years.. at least. Incidentally, for those of you wondering if he managed to fire his wife across the River Avon, the answer is yes, she made it right to other side and landed in the net which bounced her straight back into the water.