Hmmmm, for todays pick I thiiiiink I’ll pick you… (say it like those losers on Pokemon do, you know what I meen “I choose you- crappyasaur” but alot more nonchalantly).
Well, whatever, here it is…
Click here to buy one of these rude t-shirts
Always remember to inspect your airbags regularly, the first car to have standard dual airbags was in 1987 on a Porsche 944. Pretty interesting we’re sure you agree. Of course when we made this shirt we were kinda thinking about other airbags too, those ones women seem to acquire – either through horemones or a surgeon, we ain’t fussy.
We’re not the only company to have noticed this similarity as this classic Mercedes S-Class ad shows:
No wonder everyone wants a Merc so bad if those deploy in the event of an accident. I think they’d definatley speed up recovery time.
To help you learn we got you some airbag pictures, pictures are like reading but more fun and less boring.
First here’s some, 3 infact, one (undeployed) steering wheel mounted one, and two more (surely deployed, they can’t get bigger…can they?) on the person operating the vehicle.
Here’s another for you, there’s just the two in this picture, unlike the last 2 inflated ones though these have lost their firmness and turned saggy. Often this affect can be seen on ones people are equipped with too, not just vehicles
So remember wether you’re going for a ride in your car or on a woman to always strap yourself well in when you see that airbags are present.
Don’t forget to check out the rest of our funny and rude t-shirts
Jackalope
A new t-shirt has joined the ranks today, this one is for everyone who loves banging the drums, or banging anything else for that matter.
Click here to buy one of these new funny rude t-shirts
Dont worry if you dont own a drum kit, or can’t play -that doesn’t stop most people from trying, right? We’ll still let you buy one of these shirts. We’re sure you can always find something else to give a good, hard bang to with your sticks.
We’d like to give a hand to the drummers of the world, usually overlooked in favour of the lead singer, guitarist, and even the bloke with the triangle. To prove drummers can, and do, rock here’s just a few of our favourites at teesbox funny t-shirts
Neil Peart (Rush)
Wild drum solo’s set Neil The Professor” Peart apart from the rest, a vital part of Canada’s most succesful band ever, Rush… who I think are working currently on their 24th album!? Correct me if I’m wrong. Huge range of styles for one band, metal, pop, reggae, rock, you name it.
John Bonham (Led Zeppelin)
Thunderous drumming got John global fame, until his death on September 25th 1980, which immortalised his legacy forever in the rock music hall of fame.
Keith Moon (The Who)
We love The Who and Keith’s crazy, lunatic behaviour helped make the band, and the man a legend. One of the original self destructive rock stars, and probably the only person who ever managed to run himself over with his own car. Dying at age 32 from an overdose has made sure his legacy won’t be forgotten.
Another exciting installement of t-shirts, today we look at a shirt that celebrates the biggest and prettiest pub in the world, Ireland.
Buy one of these offensive FECK t-shirts
Incidentally, any resemblance of the Feck irish connection t-shirts logo to any other logo’s (including fcuk) is purely coincidental.
To celebrate this offensive funny spoof t-shirt we thought we’d make a little list of some of the most humorous Father Ted eps, there’s too many to choose from, but here are a small selection of our favourites and most hilarious that come to mind:
A Song For Europe
A rip off of the bollocks that is the Eurovision Song Contest. If you’re lucky enough to be from Aus or the US you won’t probably have heard of Eurovision, think yourself lucky.. it’s lots of European countries voting for a shitty song to represent each one, no one votes for the UK ‘cos they hate us, and all the Eastern states are terrified of pissing Russia off and having their natural gas supplies disconnected so vote for them no matter how much they suck.
Anyway, Ted and Dougal write and sing the hilarious song that is “My Lovely Horse”, here’s the lyrics, YouTube the video or something, even if you’ve not seen this show you’ll love it!
My lovely Horse Lyrics:
“My Lovely Horse
Running through the.. field
Where are you going
With your fetlocks blowing
In the… wind
I want to shower you with sugar lumps
And ride you over…fences
I want to polish your hooves every single day
And bring you to the horse… dentist
My lovely horse
You’re a pony no… more
Running around
With a man on your back
Like a train in the night
Like a train in the… (hang on I can get this)… night!
Flight Into Terror
The priests are on a doomed plane ride, after the fuel pipe breaks it’s upto Ted to climb out of the plane to save everyone on board and seal the leaking line using Dougals Duty Free sticky tape dispenser.
New Jack City
After father Jack contracts ‘hairy hands syndrome’ he’s sent away much to Ted’s delight.. until he sees Jacks replacement, Father Fintan Stack, who loves tormenting Ted and playing jungle music on his ghetto blaster. Fortunatley for Ted and unfortunatley for Father Stack, he contracts Jacks hairy hands from his old chair, and all is put right.
Speed 3
A great spoof of those awful and horribly dated 90′s ‘Speed‘ movies, you know they’re on a bus and once they go over 50mph a bomb’s armed, and when they go under 50mph it blows up, personally I wish it had blown up, at least then we’d be rid of Ted “Theodore” Logan AKA Keanu Reeves. Well anyway this ep’s like that except instead of a bus it’s a milk float. The bomb becomes activated once the milkfloat reaches a mighty 4mph, and Ted, along with Father Beeching and Father Clarke has to think of a way of rescuing Dougal. Saying Mass, which was achieved by mounting an altar on a trailer attached to the back of a tractor, fails to help the hapless Dougal and watching The Poseidon Adventure, on the grounds that Gene Hackman plays a priest in it, doesn’t help much either. In the end, they use a brick that was Father Jack’s pet provides Dougal with the means to escape from the milkfloat by jamming it on the accelerator.
There’s too many to choose from, I haven’t even mentioned the one where they’re lost in the ladies underwear department or the Night of the Living Dead spoof one, we think you should watch them all anyway, along with Black Books it’s the most funny comedy Channel 4′s made.
Jackalope, SHOUT it with me…Feck, Drink, Arse, Girls!
Holy crap, that’s right – this is a health warning from a funny t-shirt company… It’s about our new killer friend Swine Flu, a type of influenza virus that killed 50 million folks in 1918, and 25 million in ’76, so if you see him walking (or driving his blue Hyundai with a five year warranty) down the street, you’d better avoid him, here’s a pic of the flu so you know what to look out for: 
Don’t fuck with him, he can give you a runny nose and sore throat, the 80 ish people who’ve caught it aren’t laughing, they’re coughing a bit. Notice how bright green he is? We don’t know why either. Perhaps it’s got some chlorophyll in it and is planning to mutate into nettle flu.
At Teesbox t-shirts we’re branching out into medicine, remember Bird Flu? And now Swine Flu? Well we’ve figured next on the list is Goat Flu.. we’re planning to get making it already so whilst you’re all still swabbing pig anus, we’ll be making goat flu money.
But we don’t want all you loyal customers reading this to pass away from a mild headache and sneezing fit before we get to the goat flu, so here are some tips to avoiding becoming a victim of the old swine flu:
Firstly, don’t get intimate with a pig, it’s tempting, we know, but don’t. Not even orally.
Secondly, and this is the important bit.. stay the hell away from everyone and everything. They’re all diseased wretches now. We wondered how we can help save humanity, and have decided it is our civic duty as good British citizens to give you a range of rude and sometimes offensive t-shirts to keep everyone well away from your heavenly body.
Click here to buy this offensive wanna buy a vowel t shirt
It’ll make you look too angry to approach, and therefore could save your life, better than drugs (maybe). 
Buy one of these offensive tees
If people think you’re wanting to kill them, they’re less likely to go near you and give you their nasty illness. If everyone had worn this in Raccoon City, we doubt there’d have been any problems. 
Click here to buy one of these offensive t-shirts
If you cant’ beat ‘em, join ‘em – maybe it’d be better if a few people went anyway? Cheer swine flu on with this offensive shirt. And finally, our favourite t-shirt for keeping everyone far, far away – where they belong.. 
Buy one of these offensive t-shirts
Stay healthy, and always wash your hands after playing with yourself. Jackalope, the paranoid pandemic rabbit of doom.
T-shirts pick no.5, let’s hope it doesn’t stink as much as chanel no 5.
Most people argue wether they think rock died along with the Kurt Cobain’s and Layne Staley’s of this world, or maybe with Keith moon and Sid Vicious… but your old pals at Teesbox t-shirts know differently… it was last week, and it was his sidekicks- paper and scissors that teamed up to do ‘im in.
Celebrate their victory by buying one of these funny t shirts here
In Indonesia they play this game screwed up, rather than the three usual symbols they use the elephant, ant and human being… try it… if you must, an extended thumb is an elephant, an extended forefinger is a human and a pointy pinky is an ant. Elephant crushes human, human crushes ant, and ant kills elephant. I’ve no idea how an ant would kill an elephant, so I’d be interested to hear your theories on it, perhaps he has the ability to use a chainsaw (that’d explain why they’re so many ivory dealing inspects?).
These all new funny t-shirts can be bought in seven sizes, small, medium, large, extra large and the mighty XXL, as well as two ladies fitted sizes 10 + 12. They can each be bought in five different colours, pale blue, navy blue, red, pink and black. the tees are made of pure cotton which gives a high quality and very smooth texture. They are preshrunk and double stitched for extra durability. Postage is free in England and the UK.
The big day is here again, so time for the weekly installment of bizarre news across the globe
Live shark dumped outside newspaper office
Australian authorities were faced with a fishy situation after a live shark was abandoned on the doorstep of a local newspaper headquaters.,
A passer-by alerted cops in Warrnambool, Victoria, that a big bitey fish was at the front door of the town’s Standard Newspaper.
“We arrived and poured some water on it just to see if it was still breathing and it kicked around for a little while,” said Constable Jarrod Dwyer, who said the shark was about 2ft 4ins long.
Mr Dwyer said they took the shark to the town’s breakwater in a borrowed bucket of water, and released it into the sea.
The fish was identified as a Port Jackson shark, which is regarded as harmless to humans except for two dorsal spines reputed to be venomous.
The newspaper “had no ideas of any person that wished them any harm or wished to send them any type of message, so we’re a little dumbfounded at this stage,” Mr Dwyer said.
Sergeant Greg Cresell, said it was one of the most bizarre incidents he’d come across in his time as a police officer.
“We’ve had some strange things in the van before but never a shark,” he said , as he pulled out a large leopard skin effect dildo. (ok, so we added that bit ourselves,but it’d be funny, right?)
P.s. hope you like the Sharky and George pic, feel free to use it yourselves.
Make sure to check out all our funny and rude t-shirts by clicking here
Jackalope, your Friday fury friend.
