Now this shirt has a witty slogan and a little picture of an alarm clock so it’s probably one of the best on the site if you ask your ol’ pal Jackalope.
I tried lucid dreaming for a time (you know, where you KNOW you are dreaming, and therefore can control the dream) which would have been awesome if it’d have worked, driving Ferrari’s, playing with lingerie model’s lingerie, eating 14 pizzas, that kinda thing, but it didn’t pan out, rather than controlling the dream I’ just wake up each time, which sucked. And not in a good way.
Someone told me the other day, randomly, that in Medieval folklore they believed “nocturnal emissions” (that’s a wet dream to you and me) were the result of Succubus raping you at night while you sleep. A succubus being a type of demon that goes around collecting semen and impregnating innocent women with the seed to produce little baby demons. Any one else think that’s kinda hot? They seem to look like hot busty ladies except with wings according to google image search. Imagine the interesting positions the wings could make for.
It also works out nice if you get caught cheating “sorry darling I was fast asleep ‘OMG’ succubus!”
So anyway, enough reading, just buy the damn shirt already
Click here to view (and hopefully buy) this t-shirt
or
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Jackalope
So my review today:
Click here to buy this t-shirt, or check the rest of our t-shirts out here
So I was at a bit of a loss about what to say about this t-shirt. Like it’s a slogan t-shirt but you can already see that so what’s even the point saying it. Next I checked out Image search, I suspected it’d be mostly “good girls” getting exploited sort of pictures, lots of skin and the such, I was dissapointed. Nearly every result is of that (suprisingly awful singer) “Rihannah”, due to her album or song ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’ other than moan about her though and her love of singing about umbrella ella ella’s there’s not much to say. One thing that did come to mind though with liars instantly was Milli Vanilli, you remember them, they recieved the Grammy for best new artist way back in 1990, and they looked cool (at the time). But then it all went wrong and while doing a ‘live’ gig the vocal track they were miming to skipped and it’d all been lie, they had to give back the Grammy and admitt they’d not actually sung the song.
Them were the days.
Jackalope.
Nessie Discovered On Google Earth
So we’ve all the range of stuff you can observe on Google Earth; your house from above, your car from above, a “UFO” (something hard to tell what it is but spherical in shape), a naked woman (probably a man) sunbathing, the usual stuff. Until now.
A Security Guard, Jason Cook, 25 from Nottinghamshire in the UK was browsing Googles ariel photos over Lock Ness, when he spotted something a little odd in the loch, it’s around 65 feet long, and appears to have four legs and a tail!
Cook told a newspaper
“I couldn’t believe it. It’s just like the descriptions of Nessie.”
And Loch Ness Project Researcher Adrian Shine commented: “This is really intriguing. It needs further study.”
Pretty crazy, we’re undecided, both onthe photograph and wether Nessie could even exsist but if you want to take a peek at it to decide for yourself your old pals at Teesbox T-shirts have the co-ordinates of where Nessie is on Google Earth:
Nessie fans can see the “lock ness monster” image by entering co-ordinates Latitude 57°12’52.13″N, Longitude 4°34’14.16″W in Google Earth.
I’m going to take a peak to see if I can spot bigfoot roaming in between the trees.
Horny t-shirt review…That’s a review of a t-shirt with “Horny” written on it (see below) not a hot and sexy review of one of our shirts you understand!
So I decied to pick this t-shirt…
Click here to purchase
Why you ask? Well I took a peek today at what you folks have been finding us for in the ol’ search results, turns out one of our top phrases that we’re found for is something along the lines of “Lindsay Lohan XXX”…I meen, come on, seriously, why out of all the pictures of ladies on the net (and let’s face it there’s plenty) would you want to spill your seed to Lindsay L? Let’s actually take a look at her:
So that’s the best material you can come up with to gawk at?! Hardly a hot pic if you ak me, I typed in something along the lines of ‘cute blonde’ on google image search and got this much more interesting girl in about 3 seconds:
Sure she looks like she has black demon eyes and she probably is some crack whore that nailings alot like throwing a sausage down a tunnel, but surely the fact she actually takes her kit off is a bonus, you don’t have to search for hours on dodgy websites to find her showing a bit of boob or something? Think about it next time you balls are full and you’re on the net, I suspect you’ll appreciate it then.
Jackalope
As you may have guessed from the title, this is our funny t-shirt subject of todays review:
Click here to buy it OR, if you don’t have the good taste to apprecite this fine garnment click here to check out the rest of our funny t-shirts
I’m not much of a KFC fan, which incidentally this t-shirt legally has nothing to do with if anyone asks, and I’m not sure if the Colonel would agree with me when I say I love this shirt, infact it’s…finger tripping good. Notice how wild his hair is, it kinda reminds me of that scene from Airplane! “I picked the wrong day to quit sniffing glue!”
Usually our t-shirts come in 5 colours, but this is only in one – white and red, because it’d be lame in anything else, BUT it does come in 2 different styles and seven different sizes including a ladies fitted size 10 and 12. We DARE you to wear this into a certain fast food outlet, I haven’t tried to yet, but I’m going to, I suspect it’ll be quite entertaining. Screw them and their horribly farmed chicken (go free range!).
As Bugs B. would say – assuming Colonel S hasn’t BBQ’d him and tried to pass him off as some kind of chicken meal, That’s all Folks.
Bus Riding Qualifications
A British examination board – the Assesment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) is giving qualification certificates to pupils who demonstrate that they are able to travel by bus and reach the correct destination.
AQA is working in conjunction with local authority youth schemes in both Bury and Rochdale, Greater Manchester and in order to receive the certificate, children aged between 11 and 15 must successfully walk to a bus stop near their home, stand or sit until the bus arrives and then board the vehicle “in a calm and safe manner”. They are then challenged to find a seat and “observe through the windows”.
Bury’s youth support services manager Barbara Lewis told the Daily Express: “The certificate isn’t just about getting on the bus – it’s about time management, working out bus routes and, for some people, travelling alone for the first time. For some it may be the only qualification they get.”
However, Nick Seaton, who is the chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, says: “I believe most people would think this is absolutely ridiculous. It is just not necessary to issue certificates to identify success in such basic tasks.”
One boy, fifteen year old Bobby McHale who received the certificate said: “At first I thought I had got some sort of GCSE results early. When I read out the details to the family we all fell about laughing…I can’t see the point of this certificate at all.”
What can I even say about this? It’s just stupid, don’t you worry that she reckons it’s the only qualification some people might get? Like they’re going to be proud of that, “well I didn’t get any GCSE’s or anything but… I can ride a bus and sit there and look out the window” Holy shit, round of applause please.
Ah, our second review, that’d be II in Roman Numerals…No..no.. must resist urge to go back to random time frame picks and their glorious array of X’s and V’s.
As you may, or may not know the MOD here in the UK released lots of details about UFO and alien encounters between 1981 and 1996 this week. The “X-Files”, I was going to paste in a bunch of articles about it, but frankly I’m too lazy, and half othem are probably silly anyway, like them “lemonhead alien” ones, though that’s actually one of the more convincing stories and there’s a few that are very convincing in there.
I’m not sure why aliens seem to like probing peoples anuses (should that be anusi? I’m not sure on the plural) so much, but this funny t-shirt celebrates it, so basque in its gentle humour:
Click here to buy! The shirt’s available in 7 sizes, 2 styles and 5 great colours.
If you do know what aliens are looking for with their probing, why not let us know, I’ve watched every X-files episode and I’m still non the wiser, oh and what’s the deal with turning cows inside out? You’d think if you travelled 70 lightyears to get here you’d do something more fun than that… maybe they’re not satisfied with PacMan? The one thing I love most of all about aliens and UFO’s is all the big glowing lights… like if you’re trying to hide and be secret a 10,000 watt bulb ain’t the way to do it. Infact neither is flying around in a big silver disk over towns, can’t they paint it blue or something to match the ol’ sky? A few fluffy clouds on it’s underside and those flying saucers might no look so intimidating to us mere humans?
Jackalope.
So no more random time frame pick things, now its these much more fancy reviews, the content will most probably be the same BUT behold the slighty nicer name of ‘review’. Well let’s get on with it then, todays review is of:
Click here to buy one of these funny “click” t-shirts
So I’ve had a few people come up to me and say they don’t get this t-shirt, like is it suppost to be funny or what? Well I guess those people didn’t have the net, or didn’t ever stray onto any sites which were more adult than Winnie the Pooh, cos I constantly see this kinda thing:
Are they fooling anyone? I meen, do people (ok, men) really think some hot (or not so hot loking at the second pics face) ladies are really desperate to get nailed and the only way they can think of getting some is to log on and give creeps online their addresses? I doubt it. It’s hard to believe these are even genuine, if I didn’t know better I’d think they were spoofs. What happens when you sign up? You go to a site with 200 other loser men and not a woman in sight (or should that be “site”) – except for maybe a lazy ass hooker, who can’t even be arsed to wait on a street corner. Mock them anyway buy purchasing the t-shirt, people will enjoy it, you’ll enjoy waring it and we’ll enjoy knowing we’ve got your money.
Jackalope.
So us kind folks at Teesbox t-shirts are giving our all new Prize Bullocks Award to Sheryl Crow, for her war on the monster that is toilet paper. We quote from her website “only one square [of toilet paper] per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”. and you might think “well fair enough if that’s what she wants to do” but you’d be wrong, she wants you to do it too, with laws to enforce it “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”
Maybe it’s just me but I doubt it, one square is rarely ever enough, half a roll on a bad day, an a little less on a good day, sure I might be harming the environment but at least I ain’t polluting society with my stinky ass. So there you have it, we can only conclude Sheryl, you have a dirty arse.
Why not buy a prize bullocks t-shirt while you’re here, it comes in 7 different sizes, two different styles (regular and fitted) and five great colours.
So next time you’re jerking off to Ms Crow (especially if you’re imagining anal) or heck, if she’s smashing your door down to get to your pants you’d better remember, make sure that ass is clean- maybe you can stuff some Kleenex in there while she’s not looking? Watch out for that Klingon!
Jackalope
Yeah the title’s right, like i said last post I think i’ve just had about enough of these random picks what with their roman numerals and pointless titles, maybe I’ll never be regarded as a great nhilist of my generation, but, who cares.
Anyway, here is our 30th and final pick of the random timeframe, interestingly enough 30 in roman numerals coms up as XXX, so it’s like their equivilent of our 69 (as a “naughty number”). I remember some kid at school asking me why it was called a “69″ and after carefully explaining it, it was clear he still didn’t get it, I wonder if he ever worked it out, it’s not the sort of thing you can really ask is it?
Enough ramblings…
Click here to purchase this funny t-shirt or click here to check out the rest of the range.
So why’s it funny, the slow one’s amongst you may ask, well…. if you’re wearing a shirt that reads “I’m topless” then how can you possibly be topless? Get it? Get it? No? Nevermind.
I guess you’re all expecting me to finish this post with some delightful busty blonde with no top on? Keep on dreaming, at Teesbox we always like to do things a little differently, you can have three pics of women, bottomless! Bottomless is the new topless if you ask me, think how easy it’ll be to piss and crap anywhere you like, no more undo-ing buttons and zips (no more wiping either, air drying and rain water cleaning is the future my friends, or if you’re really filthy dive into the sea).
I wouldn’t mind going down with these 3.
Jackalope.
Well I’ve decided to do the last ever “t-shirt funny pick of the random time frame” tommorrow! So I figure this new t-shirt’s kinda appropriate for that, so without further delay here it is:
Click here to buy it!
See, I thought to myself I’d do the funny picks of the random time frames up to number 1000, and no I have no idea what one thousand is in roman numerals, oh hang on, isn’t it M? Mmm I’d have enjoyed seeing “m” there, never mind, I’ve made my decision and I’m sticking to it, and like it ironically says “I always finish what I st..” You don’t need it explaining, I hope.
So this shirt’s available in 5 different sizes, from the biggest down, XXL, XL, L, M, and you guessed it…S, plus for women (or for men if you’re a bit oddly shaped) two other fitted sizes – s10 and s12 to show off your good bits.
It comes in 5 different colours, pink, navy, pale blue, red and good ol’ black so there’s something for you all.
Look out for my last pick tommorrow, I’m having to think of something else after that, but it’ll be even better (or should that be “betterer”) like I can’t believe it’s not betterer.
Have a great weekend from all the Teesbox team, Jackalope
You know we’ve thought there’s a chance some of our more offensive t-shirts will send us straight to hell, but at least even we’re cleaner than this couple:
Couple fined for doing it in Church
A couple in Nigeria have been fined after they were caught having intercourse in church by their local pastor. Pastor Gbenga Akhiomu demanded that Tolu Akintepe, 30 and his 28-year-old wife Bunmi pay the equivilent of £100 for damages due to desecrating the altar at the Pentecostal church in the Lagos suburb of Ikeja.
He also asked the pair to clean the [cum off of the]altar and pray to God for forgiveness.
They told judge Ifeanyinwa Okenwa: “My wife was always saying she wanted us to spice up our sex life in an unusual way.
“I thought it would be thrilling if we did it in the church, having the big guy upstairs watching us. I thought it was a little adventurous. I told my wife, and she loved the idea.”
The judge ordered the couple to pay the £100 compensation and to clean the church for the next week have more respect for religious institutions.
If I’d have known there’s sexy stuff in church (aside from getting a pervy glimps of the virgin Mars breasts every now and then) maybe I’d attend once in a while.
Check out all our funny and offensive t-shirts
Next funny news:
Offensive named town should cash in
Residents of Wank, a small town between Nesselwang and Fussen in Germany have hailed the tourism brought by the obscene name and advised the Austrian village of Fucking to take advantage of its potential. The name Fucking is over 800 years old and originated from when a local family moved in and owned the area “the Fuck family” or “the Fucking family”.
The mayor of Fucking recently complained about the negative attention that its name brought it and said that “there’s nothing funny about a town called Fucking to us”. The owner of the Wank Guesthouse, said: “The people in Fucking should cash in on their fame. I have so many visitors here at the guest house that we have the mattresses all in a line in one big room for people to sleep on.
“Otherwise, we couldn’t fit everybody in. If the name helps to bring the tourists in, then why not cash in on it?”
Indeed why the hell not,
A local tourism spokesman of the hamlet, which borders the market town of Nesselwang, added: “There are postcards on sale although many people prefer to take their own holiday snaps standing beside ‘Welcome to W**k signs’.”
Haha, the Fuck family! I wouldn’t mind havng a bit of one on one time with Ms. Fucking though that’s for sure, what could we get upto?
I may quit these random time frame thingies at 30, there’s only so much one man can take, then you can put up with them being called “reviews” like probably most other t-shirts sites do. So ha, that’ll teach ya (for what, I do not know).
SO anyway for a fishy number (anyone else out there think 29 is a strange one?) a fish related t-shirt
So I guess this is pretty much the ideal t-shirt for anyone – people who wear sports brands, people who hate sports brands, people who fish…..people…who don’t fish etc. etc. It comes in a great range of colours, styles and sizes too to make sure it fits your body like a glove (weird expression, in my experience gloves don’t often fit too well and no one cares if they don’t).
Click here to buy this funny fishing t-shirt or click here to browse the rest of our t-shirts. Wether you’re small or XXL we’ve got your size ready and waiting in stock.
I’ve never seen anyone catch a Tuna, are they around in the UK? I’ve seen one or two carps in my time though. Let us know about the Tuna, in our quest for knowledge, to boldly go where lots of other people have gone before.
Jackalope.
So isn’t it every guys fantasy to get stuck with a hot, horny and frankly a little pervy nurse?
“now take off those pants, I need a sperm sample delivered asap on my breasts” Yeah, we wish. Anyway, we’ve got a nurse on this rude t-shirt who’ll verify the size of your large organ, and she ain’t talking about your intestines (or so we assume, “you should see the size of this guys liver”)
Click ‘ere to buy this t-shirt
I wonder how many people have actually got to be nailed by a (hot) nurse, probably a lot fewer or more (I’m keeping my options open) than you’d imagine. If any nurses read this by chance, maybe you could come and inspect the lower half of my body, just to make sure everything is working as it should.
These t-shirts come in a range of five colours, red, blue, navy blue, black and pink. They also come ina wide range of sizes, small, medium, large, extra large and XXL t-shirts for men, and size’s 10 and 12 for women so no matter what the size (and gender) of the patient we’ve got something for you!
Keep making sure your organs are working properly and visit us again soon.
Jackalope
A story of a dog this week for our funny news, pretty bizarre stuff:
Missing Dog Found After Nine Years
Muffy, the dog that went missing 9 years ago has been found alive and well 1,200 miles away from his original home.
Inspectors from Australia’s RSPCA were investigating a possible animal cruelty case at a house in Melbourne when they happened to find a dog..Muffy, sleeping outside on an old piece of cardboard.
A chip in Muffy’s neck ID’d her owners and after several days of searching for a current phone number, officials tracked down Natalie Lampard, who had not seen Muffy since she disappeared from her garden in Brisbane 9 years ago.
“When the RSPCA described her, I told them her name; I knew immediately it was our Muffy,” Ms Lampard said. “It was totally out of the blue – after 9 years, I thought she was long gone.”
The owners of the Melbourne house where Muffy was discovered said they found the dog about a year ago wandering along a street. But the mystery is where had Muffy spent the previous 8 years? And how did she get all the way to Melbourne – over 1,200 miles from her home in Brisbane?
“Nobody knows,” an RSPCA spokesman said. “The mystery continues for Muffy.”
Ms Lampard had gotten Muffy as a gift for her now daughter, the now 17-year old Chloe, and the two were inseparable.
“After the RSPCA called, I rang my daughter and asked her if she was sitting down, then told her they’d found Muffy,” Ms Lampard said.
“She’s over the moon and there’ll be a few tears shed when they see each other again. But just how she got down to Melbourne I guess is a mystery that will never be answered.”
A strange tale of a travelling dog, that’s for sure. If dogs could talk eh.
