Friday Funny News

14 August

You know we’ve thought there’s a chance some of our more offensive t-shirts will send us straight to hell, but at least even we’re cleaner than this couple:
Couple fined for doing it in Church

A couple in Nigeria have been fined after they were caught having intercourse in church by their local pastor. Pastor Gbenga Akhiomu demanded that Tolu Akintepe, 30 and his 28-year-old wife Bunmi pay the equivilent of £100 for damages due to desecrating the altar at the Pentecostal church in the Lagos suburb of Ikeja.
He also asked the pair to clean the [cum off of the]altar and pray to God for forgiveness.
They told judge Ifeanyinwa Okenwa: “My wife was always saying she wanted us to spice up our sex life in an unusual way.
“I thought it would be thrilling if we did it in the church, having the big guy upstairs watching us. I thought it was a little adventurous. I told my wife, and she loved the idea.”

The judge ordered the couple to pay the £100 compensation and to clean the church for the next week have more respect for religious institutions.

If I’d have known there’s sexy stuff in church (aside from getting a pervy glimps of the virgin Mars breasts every now and then) maybe I’d attend once in a while.
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Offensive named town should cash in

Residents of Wank, a small town between Nesselwang and Fussen in Germany have hailed the tourism brought by the obscene name and advised the Austrian village of Fucking to take advantage of its potential. The name Fucking is over 800 years old and originated from when a local family moved in and owned the area “the Fuck family” or “the Fucking family”.
offensive town name!
The mayor of Fucking recently complained about the negative attention that its name brought it and said that “there’s nothing funny about a town called Fucking to us”. The owner of the Wank Guesthouse, said: “The people in Fucking should cash in on their fame. I have so many visitors here at the guest house that we have the mattresses all in a line in one big room for people to sleep on.
“Otherwise, we couldn’t fit everybody in. If the name helps to bring the tourists in, then why not cash in on it?”

Indeed why the hell not,

A local tourism spokesman of the hamlet, which borders the market town of Nesselwang, added: “There are postcards on sale although many people prefer to take their own holiday snaps standing beside ‘Welcome to W**k signs’.”

Haha, the Fuck family! I wouldn’t mind havng a bit of one on one time with Ms. Fucking though that’s for sure, what could we get upto?