Doctors in China have discovered that a knife was left in a woman’s ass for four months.
Ying Shi who’s 26, revealed that the physicians in Shanghai gave her a scan when she came to them after suffering from stomach complaints following a mugging.
She said: “All I remember of the night was a stabbing pain in my ass. I thought they had just slashed me, I didn’t realise the whole blade had gone all the way in.
I am amazed they missed it the first time around but very relieved that they’ve found it now.”
The knife had gone so deep into Ying’s rear that X-rays showed it was pressing against her bladder.

How the hell could some one stick a whole knife up your ass and you not even know about it? I’m very puzzled by it all, like “oh I’ve just a cut[presumbaly on her ass] but it’ll be ok” when really the knife’s actually in there? I find it hard to believe. Anyone else notice how all the most bizarre news comes from China? It ain’t just coincidence I tells ya, go there and you’ll be giving birth to 8 mummified babies, slipping off butter coated bridges and getting denied to go to sex museums before you know it.
Jackalope

So here’s one of our many, many drinking and beer related t-shirts:

Click here to check it out or here to view the rest of our t-shirts

So there’s only so much you can write about beer, infact there’s quite a lot but it’s a lot more interesting to drink than talk about.
What we’ve complied is a list of some beer related lyrics from popular songs that we thought you might like instead, some great artists in here too, Pixies, Bob Dylan, the Doors, everyone loves beer:

Beer songs:

We’ve got provisions and lots of beer
The key word is survival on the new frontier
New Frontier, Donald Fagen

Well, I woke up this morning, and I got myself a beer
The future’s uncertain, and the end is always near
Roadhouse Blues, The Doors

And then you had to bring up reincarnation
Over a couple of beers the other night.
Galileo, Indigo Girls

You said good friends are hard to come by
I laughed and bought you a beer ’cause it was too corny to cry
Joking, Indigo Girls

She was working in topless place
And I stopped in for a beer
Tangled Up In Blue, Bob Dylan

But look watch shorty get sicker year after year
While he’s thinkin’ it’s beer but it’s not he got it in his gut
1 Million Bottle Bags, Public Enemy

I get home at five o’clock,
and I take myself out a nice, cold beer.
Working Man, Rush

Down at the Lido they welcome you
With sausage and beer
Here At The Western World, Steely Dan

He’s knowing that he found the place He pours a cold, cold beer
Skoal– very cold beer, Cheers– to your friends so near
Space Wrangler, Widespread Panic

He’s yelling at the parking lot
Throwing beer cans down the stairs
Demand, Phish

A little joke, the one about the farmer’s daughter
How she was stomping on grapes, coming up with blue feet and beer
Jack, Widespread Panic

So I sat back down and had a beer and felt sorry for myself
Let Her Cry, Hootie & The Blowfish

Funny I’ve been there And you’ve been here
We ain’t had no time to drink that beer
Sandman, America

Going down to Allen’s for a twenty-five cent beer
Deadbeat Club, The B-52′s

To either cut down on beer or the kid’s new gear
Town Called Malice, The Jam

And the piano, it sounds like a carnival
And the microphone smells like a beer
Piano Man, Billy Joel

Cold beer, hot lights
My sweet romantic teenage nights
Scenes From An Italian Restaurant, Billy Joel

I’d stand at that bar with my friends who’ve passed away
And drink three times the beer that I can drink today
Talking Old Soldiers, Elton John

Sitting like a princess perched in her electric chair
And it’s one more beer and I don’t hear you anymore
Someone Saved My Life Tonight, Elton John

You didn’t have to make me a total disgrace
Didn’t have to leave me with that beer in my face
Black Country Woman, Led Zeppelin

tell me what it is you want me to hear
i trust rebound is just rebound
you’re stuck between my attitude and beer
Tantrum, Ned’s Atomic Dustbin

Dear God, hope you got the letter, and…
I pray you can make it better down here.
I don’t mean a big reduction in the price of beer
Dear God, XTC

we got to get some beer
we got no atmosphere
Distance Equals Rate Times Time, Pixies

I love the smell of beer
Devil’s Roof, Throwing Muses

is this your son’s wallet I’ve got here?
he must have dropped it after too much beer!
No Thugs In Our House, XTC

His eyes went glassy, not a word was said
He poured another beer and his face turned red
Read About Love, Richard Thompson

Showered in honey
Showered in beer
Puberty, Belly

I was down by Bondi Pier, drinkin’ tubes of ice cold beer,
With a bucket full of prawns upon my knee,
When I swallowed the last prawn,
I had a technicolor yawn and I chundered in the old Pacific Sea.
Bondi Pier, Grateful Dead

Another night in a successsion
Thinly glued with beer and wine
It’s a precarious profession
Lifeblood, Indigo Girls

Punch and Judy in a semi on a brand new council plot
Sunday lunchtime, beer-for-Punch time, while his dinner’s far from hot
Punch And Judy, XTC

I’m standing in front of this girl
I’m under a flourescent light
I’ve had a few beers inside me
I feel like a giant tonight
Meccanic Dancing (oh We Go!), XTC

Well I don’t need any cigarettes or beer from a jug
You’re my drug
You’re My Drug, XTC

He’d nothing to fear
He had his beer
B-E-E-R!
The Affiliated, XTC

For it was a famous party night
And to party was to get high
They loaded up on beer and cocaine
Feel The Thunder, Blue Oyster Cult

Tell the waitress I’ll come back to Zanzibar
I’ll be hiding inthe darkness with my beer.
Zanzibar, Billy Joel

You’ve got yoga honey
I’ve got beer
A Room Of Our Own, Billy Joel

If the boys all behave themselves here
Well there’s pretty young ladies and beer in the rear
Sweet Painted Lady, Elton John

It’s seven o’clock and I want to rock
Want to get a belly full of beer
Saturday Night’s Alright For Fighting, Elton John

I love you too in all your forms,
the slim and lovely virgin floating among German beer,
Queen Victoria , Leonard Cohen

Frankie went down to the corner saloon, get a bucket of beer
Said to the bartender “Has my lovin’ man been here”
Frankie & Albert, Bob Dylan

Stack-a-Lee walked to the barroom and he called for a glass of beer
Turned around to Billy Lyons, said, What you doin’ here?
Stack-a-lee, Bob Dylan

How dare you sit there and drink all our beer
Oh it’s made for us workers who sweat spit and swear
Texan Love Song, Elton John

Don’t forget the beer my little dear
It helps to sow the mellow seed
Mellow, Elton John

Staying awake on cold yesterday’s steak and warm beer.
Crossword, Jetro Tull

She was helping out at the back-stage…
stopping hearts and chilling beer.
Budapest, Jetro Tull

What kind of place am I in? And who’s this over here?
Shaking through the silver bubbles climbing through my beer.
Undressed To Kill, Jetro Tull

some are like summer coming back every year
got your baby got your blanket got your bucket of beer
That’s Why I’m Here, James Taylor

Saturdays boys live life with insults,
Drink lots of beer and wait for half time results,
Saturdays Kids, Paul Weller, The Jam

Sup up your beer and collect your fags,
The Eton Rifles, Paul Weller, The Jam

The old Rocker wore his hair too long
Wore his trouser cuffs too tight
Unfashionable to the end – drank his ale too light
Big Dipper, Jetro Tull

Two-fifty for a highball
And a buck and a half for a beer
Happy hour, Happy hour,
Happy hour is here
Little Bones, The Tragically Hip

And that’s your lot. Keep on drinkin’ (and of course purchasing our funny t-shirts).
Jackalope.

So in these paranoid times of peadophiles around every corner and babys getting molested left, right and center we thought this headline might be rather eye catching, the bill in question is of course a recipt, not some “uncle” or a pervy guy around the corner, let’s read:

A little girl, Molly Cartin, aged two was branded a “littlefucker” on an itemised receipt given to her parents after easting at a Mexican restaurant.

Parents, Kimberley and Craig Cartin, who were sat in the kid’s zone of Cactus Joe’s in Halifax, said that their daughter’s response to the slow service and somewhat poor food may have caused the incident.

As well as the prices and quantities of their meals and their food preferences, the bill listed the item “1 x Thankyyoulittlefucker”.

Father, Craig explained: “I’m a fairly easy-going guy, but I couldn’t believe my eyes. The meal was indifferent anyway but to be abused on the bill is unbelievably offensive. It’s awful behaviour. Molly was a bit grumbly but her behaviour was not terrible, so this was just uncalled for. Presumably they had meant to delete the insult before printing the bill, but it’s still no excuse.”

Restaurant owner Steve Ryan, 49, commented: “This was absolutely inexcusable and it won’t be tolerated. The person involved has been sacked and I am planning on consulting my lawyers to see if I can take further action against her. I have visited the customer involved and invited him to be our guest this weekend. We offer unreserved apologies.”

Haha, that’s hilarious, I know it’s not just me that hates noisy, whiney and often smelly little kids is it?

Here’s our countdown of the top funny slogan t-shirts, only available to buy at teesbox.com

SO here goes:

slogan number five:

Well, what can we say about this one? It’s for ladies only, unless you’re a dude with problems. It’s a beauty in my opinion, for anyone that appreciates a little irony, having “stop looking at my boobs” written across ones tits is about as ironic as you get. Oh, and as guys, we know all ladies secretly love you looking at them, why else would they ever display clevage if it wasn’t there to be enjoyed see?

slogan number four:

Now, I hope this one’s self explanitory, but I also know some of you reading this are probably pretty slow, but I’m still not explaining it.

slogan number three:

Get it? This t-shirt only comes in 2 colours, pale blue and navy blue, and it says “this shirts only blue if i’m thinking about breasts”, so consequently wearing this meens you’re always thinking about them. And who can blame you? Not us.

slogan number two:

So this slogan’s a bit more offensive than the funny ones above it, but don’t you love this t-shirt? I suspect if you trying wearing it, you really won’t look like a people person, which is great, no having to stand up for crusty old ladies on the bus, no having to be polite to some loser who thinks you’re their best buddy, it’s bliss.

and finally

the number one funny slogan t-shirt is…

It’ll make you and everyone around you laugh. I’m not sure if it’s a terrible choice of t-shirts to wear on a first date, or a hilarious one, try it and let us know.
All I can say is… Wine them, dine them, take them back to yours fo “coffee”, spread those legs real wide apart and release your wonderful smell and ruptuous noise. They’ll love it. Maybe.

Now we love a good story about drinking, especially when it’s someone who shouldn’t be:

French chess champion Vladislav Tkachiev was forced to retire a match against Tamil Nadu’s Praveen Kuma after he fell asleep drunk, in the middle of the game.
Tkachiev was finally declared after one hour of play “timed run-out” during the Kolkata Open Grandmasters Chess Tournament when officials decided that he was not fit to continue his game.
Tournament co-organiser Soumen Majumder said: “What happened is unfortunate. It’s in bad taste. Once the event is over, we will hold a meeting and decide how to proceed against this player.”
Kuma added: “All I have to say is that I was given the point after the match, that’s all.”
The hour-long match was reportedly disrupted when Tkachiev fell asleep several times while planning his moves before he was eventually carried off by the tournement organisers.

Haha, that’s brilliant, I wonder if he’d have won if he’d have been left to his own devices, or maybe he’d have got up and found some hot lady in the audience and ask her to dance or something? I’m not sure many hot ladies go to Chess tournemants, but surely when you’re drunk you can always find one. I figure it seems appropriate for me to plug a t-shirt, what with us having so many booze related ones and all, so here it is, just for you my old pal Vladislav:

WHat?! You say, well, I’ve got a odd post here, a bit of “news” and a bit of t-shirt stuff. First the news, that inspired this:

A bikini-clad Polish student, Justyna Folger has said that she was ogled by a yeti while paddling in a river in her bikini.
Footage has surfaced apparently taken by the girls boyfriend showing the beast lusting after the girl on the opposite bank.

Justyna told Poland’s Super Express: “I wandered into the river for a dip when I realised that something was on the opposite shore.

“At first I thought it was a bear but it appeared to be stooping and then it raised itself on to two legs and ran off. I couldn’t believe it.”

National Park Guards commander Edward Wlazlo said: “We are investigating the matter. If there is something out there we will find it.”

Last month, walker Piotr Kowalsk filmed video footage of what he described as a “huge ape-like form” hiding behind the rocks in the Tatra mountains.

If you check out google you can find the video pretty easy, we’d be perving on her too if we were Yetis. And yes, it more than likely is some dude just wearing a costume.
Anyway, we’ve got to make this thing shirt related, and all the videos of jiggling scared teens has worn me out, so I’ll keep it brief, bigfoot, this can be yours, it comes in XXL too:

enjoy!

So I get this call this morning that when I’m writting this blog I’ve got to be “more user oriantated”, now I’m only a simple Jackalope, so I ain’too sure what that meens but I figure this might just qualify;
often you people out there email us, usually with either pretty bizarre or boring stuff about our t-shirts, so I’ve picked the best and oddest of some of these emails to publish here, enjoy!

Mike S bought this t-shirt and sent us this email:

Very pleased with my t-shirt, I wore it to class, and my hot geography teacher saw it and was intreeged. She made me take it off and saw my sexy 6 pack, then she made me tack off my pants infront of the whole class (who are all girls) and they all touched me. Thanks!
I fear that isn’t true, is it Mike? Even still it’s more plausible than Danny’s story:

Danny S from Durham bought this t-shirt and emailed us the following:

When walking home I saw a couple of glowin lites above me, but I ignored ‘em and kept going, beer in hand! I got to the big roundabout near home when I got beamed up. It wans’t like a saucer, more like a flying cube and when I got there the aliens, whiched looked like them out of the X-file with big black eyes held me down on a table and got a big probe out and were about to get physical withmy ass when they read my “probing expert” thing on my t-shirt and they all stopped and let me go cos of it! You saved my ass, literally.

They can read English now?! Ok, well I liked this one, at least it sounds like it might have really happened:

Karan G bought this t-shirt and then mailed us:

Hi guys, thanks for sending so quick. I wanted it for weekend so I could wear it to church, and when I got there, the pasteur wouldn’t let me in, incase I was actually an evil twin or devil! He made me go home and change.

Would an evil twin really wear a t-shirt saying it was an evil twin? Maybe.

Here’s a predictable one:

Adam T bought the FBI t-shirt below and mailed us this:

Going out’s great now, if you go late when all the girls are drunk they see this t-shirt and let you feel to make sure everythings ok. It usually is but I have a good squeeze, just incase.

Haha, I bet you do.

Here’s another sexy sort of one, it’s good to see we’re helping the sex trade with our fine garments, Jenny J from Liverpool bought this and emailed us:

Hi, t-shirts just what I was after. I work in a local Massage Palour and I preffer getting to ride cowgirl on clients as it’s safer because I get more control. I’m doing alot more cowgirls now thanks to this t-shirt.
Cheers, Jen.

These emails would be alot better with pictures guys. Remember all these shirts and many more can only be bought exclusivley from Teesbox t-shirts

Simon V from Cardiff got the excellent and delighfully offensive high school massacre t-shirt (below) and said:

Did my GCSE’s wearing this. No one said a thing!

I’m kinda not suprised, they were probably bricking themselves you had some sort of weapon to use on anyone who talked to you.

There’s tonnes of these emails, but I leave you with one of the very oddest from this collection:

Roy B from Dorset, UK bought the SILF t-shirt, below, and sent us the email:

I went to stay with my uncle for the week, who is a farmer and lives out in the countryside. I knew we were going to some random sheep festival thing (whatever that is) andso I wanted this SILF funny shirt to wear to make people laugh. It went down OK, but I hadn’t been there ten mins and was just wandering aroudnt he stalls when some old guy, who was about 70-75 came up to me, and said he liked sheep in that way too, and he took one to bed last night and it wouldn’t stop stuggling, and showed me a bruise on his arm it’d given running away! I laughed and went, quickly. THis is where it get’s more worrying, not 2 hours later another guy said to me he keeps trying with the sheep and can’t get the hang of it, and wanted to know if you’re suppost to do it sitting down or standing up! I didn’t know what to say.

That’s scary.

Official Government agents in China have ordered workers to spread an entire 1,000 foot long steel bridge in butter to prevent people from using it to jump off in their suicide attempts.
All the surfaces on the bridge which are climable on the bridge in Guangzhou have been covered in greasy fat to stop the spate of people who are threatening to jump from it.
Government spokesman Shiu Liang said: “We’ve tried putting guards at both ends of the bridge but that did not work – and we put up special fences and notices asking people not to commit suicide here but none of it worked – and so now we have put butter over the bridge and it has worked very well. Nobody can get up there and nobody who tries ever falls.”
The bridge guard Mr. Wong Man comments “The butter makes the bars and frames slippery and hard to climb on to, and we can easily catch them…Each time somebody threatens to commit suicide to get media attention or sympathy over personal problems we end up with several hours of tailbacks and there were lots of complaints and since we put up the butter there have been no problems with these attention seekers.”

Haha, I wonder if they spread it on with a knife? I can’t get over the Bridge Guards name, Mr Wong Man! Fantastic.

Nessie Discovered On Google Earth

So we’ve all the range of stuff you can observe on Google Earth; your house from above, your car from above, a “UFO” (something hard to tell what it is but spherical in shape), a naked woman (probably a man) sunbathing, the usual stuff. Until now.
A Security Guard, Jason Cook, 25 from Nottinghamshire in the UK was browsing Googles ariel photos over Lock Ness, when he spotted something a little odd in the loch, it’s around 65 feet long, and appears to have four legs and a tail!
Cook told a newspaper
“I couldn’t believe it. It’s just like the descriptions of Nessie.”
And Loch Ness Project Researcher Adrian Shine commented: “This is really intriguing. It needs further study.”

Pretty crazy, we’re undecided, both onthe photograph and wether Nessie could even exsist but if you want to take a peek at it to decide for yourself your old pals at Teesbox T-shirts have the co-ordinates of where Nessie is on Google Earth:
Nessie fans can see the “lock ness monster” image by entering co-ordinates Latitude 57°12’52.13″N, Longitude 4°34’14.16″W in Google Earth.
I’m going to take a peak to see if I can spot bigfoot roaming in between the trees.

Bus Riding Qualifications

A British examination board – the Assesment and Qualifications Alliance (AQA) is giving qualification certificates to pupils who demonstrate that they are able to travel by bus and reach the correct destination.
AQA is working in conjunction with local authority youth schemes in both Bury and Rochdale, Greater Manchester and in order to receive the certificate, children aged between 11 and 15 must successfully walk to a bus stop near their home, stand or sit until the bus arrives and then board the vehicle “in a calm and safe manner”. They are then challenged to find a seat and “observe through the windows”.

Bury’s youth support services manager Barbara Lewis told the Daily Express: “The certificate isn’t just about getting on the bus – it’s about time management, working out bus routes and, for some people, travelling alone for the first time. For some it may be the only qualification they get.”
However, Nick Seaton, who is the chairman of the Campaign for Real Education, says: “I believe most people would think this is absolutely ridiculous. It is just not necessary to issue certificates to identify success in such basic tasks.”
One boy, fifteen year old Bobby McHale who received the certificate said: “At first I thought I had got some sort of GCSE results early. When I read out the details to the family we all fell about laughing…I can’t see the point of this certificate at all.”

What can I even say about this? It’s just stupid, don’t you worry that she reckons it’s the only qualification some people might get? Like they’re going to be proud of that, “well I didn’t get any GCSE’s or anything but… I can ride a bus and sit there and look out the window” Holy shit, round of applause please.

Ah, our second review, that’d be II in Roman Numerals…No..no.. must resist urge to go back to random time frame picks and their glorious array of X’s and V’s.
As you may, or may not know the MOD here in the UK released lots of details about UFO and alien encounters between 1981 and 1996 this week. The “X-Files”, I was going to paste in a bunch of articles about it, but frankly I’m too lazy, and half othem are probably silly anyway, like them “lemonhead alien” ones, though that’s actually one of the more convincing stories and there’s a few that are very convincing in there.
I’m not sure why aliens seem to like probing peoples anuses (should that be anusi? I’m not sure on the plural) so much, but this funny t-shirt celebrates it, so basque in its gentle humour:

Click here to buy! The shirt’s available in 7 sizes, 2 styles and 5 great colours.
If you do know what aliens are looking for with their probing, why not let us know, I’ve watched every X-files episode and I’m still non the wiser, oh and what’s the deal with turning cows inside out? You’d think if you travelled 70 lightyears to get here you’d do something more fun than that… maybe they’re not satisfied with PacMan? The one thing I love most of all about aliens and UFO’s is all the big glowing lights… like if you’re trying to hide and be secret a 10,000 watt bulb ain’t the way to do it. Infact neither is flying around in a big silver disk over towns, can’t they paint it blue or something to match the ol’ sky? A few fluffy clouds on it’s underside and those flying saucers might no look so intimidating to us mere humans?
Jackalope.

So no more random time frame pick things, now its these much more fancy reviews, the content will most probably be the same BUT behold the slighty nicer name of ‘review’. Well let’s get on with it then, todays review is of:

Click here to buy one of these funny “click” t-shirts
So I’ve had a few people come up to me and say they don’t get this t-shirt, like is it suppost to be funny or what? Well I guess those people didn’t have the net, or didn’t ever stray onto any sites which were more adult than Winnie the Pooh, cos I constantly see this kinda thing:

Are they fooling anyone? I meen, do people (ok, men) really think some hot (or not so hot loking at the second pics face) ladies are really desperate to get nailed and the only way they can think of getting some is to log on and give creeps online their addresses? I doubt it. It’s hard to believe these are even genuine, if I didn’t know better I’d think they were spoofs. What happens when you sign up? You go to a site with 200 other loser men and not a woman in sight (or should that be “site”) – except for maybe a lazy ass hooker, who can’t even be arsed to wait on a street corner. Mock them anyway buy purchasing the t-shirt, people will enjoy it, you’ll enjoy waring it and we’ll enjoy knowing we’ve got your money.
Jackalope.

So us kind folks at Teesbox t-shirts are giving our all new Prize Bullocks Award to Sheryl Crow, for her war on the monster that is toilet paper. We quote from her website “only one square [of toilet paper] per restroom visit, except, of course, on those pesky occasions where two to three could be required”. and you might think “well fair enough if that’s what she wants to do” but you’d be wrong, she wants you to do it too, with laws to enforce it “I propose a limitation be put on how many squares of toilet paper can be used in any one sitting.”
Maybe it’s just me but I doubt it, one square is rarely ever enough, half a roll on a bad day, an a little less on a good day, sure I might be harming the environment but at least I ain’t polluting society with my stinky ass. So there you have it, we can only conclude Sheryl, you have a dirty arse.
Why not buy a prize bullocks t-shirt while you’re here, it comes in 7 different sizes, two different styles (regular and fitted) and five great colours.
So next time you’re jerking off to Ms Crow (especially if you’re imagining anal) or heck, if she’s smashing your door down to get to your pants you’d better remember, make sure that ass is clean- maybe you can stuff some Kleenex in there while she’s not looking? Watch out for that Klingon!

Jackalope

You know we’ve thought there’s a chance some of our more offensive t-shirts will send us straight to hell, but at least even we’re cleaner than this couple:
Couple fined for doing it in Church

A couple in Nigeria have been fined after they were caught having intercourse in church by their local pastor. Pastor Gbenga Akhiomu demanded that Tolu Akintepe, 30 and his 28-year-old wife Bunmi pay the equivilent of £100 for damages due to desecrating the altar at the Pentecostal church in the Lagos suburb of Ikeja.
He also asked the pair to clean the [cum off of the]altar and pray to God for forgiveness.
They told judge Ifeanyinwa Okenwa: “My wife was always saying she wanted us to spice up our sex life in an unusual way.
“I thought it would be thrilling if we did it in the church, having the big guy upstairs watching us. I thought it was a little adventurous. I told my wife, and she loved the idea.”

The judge ordered the couple to pay the £100 compensation and to clean the church for the next week have more respect for religious institutions.

If I’d have known there’s sexy stuff in church (aside from getting a pervy glimps of the virgin Mars breasts every now and then) maybe I’d attend once in a while.
Check out all our funny and offensive t-shirts
Next funny news:

Offensive named town should cash in

Residents of Wank, a small town between Nesselwang and Fussen in Germany have hailed the tourism brought by the obscene name and advised the Austrian village of Fucking to take advantage of its potential. The name Fucking is over 800 years old and originated from when a local family moved in and owned the area “the Fuck family” or “the Fucking family”.

The mayor of Fucking recently complained about the negative attention that its name brought it and said that “there’s nothing funny about a town called Fucking to us”. The owner of the Wank Guesthouse, said: “The people in Fucking should cash in on their fame. I have so many visitors here at the guest house that we have the mattresses all in a line in one big room for people to sleep on.
“Otherwise, we couldn’t fit everybody in. If the name helps to bring the tourists in, then why not cash in on it?”

Indeed why the hell not,

A local tourism spokesman of the hamlet, which borders the market town of Nesselwang, added: “There are postcards on sale although many people prefer to take their own holiday snaps standing beside ‘Welcome to W**k signs’.”

Haha, the Fuck family! I wouldn’t mind havng a bit of one on one time with Ms. Fucking though that’s for sure, what could we get upto?

A story of a dog this week for our funny news, pretty bizarre stuff:

Missing Dog Found After Nine Years

Muffy, the dog that went missing 9 years ago has been found alive and well 1,200 miles away from his original home.
Inspectors from Australia’s RSPCA were investigating a possible animal cruelty case at a house in Melbourne when they happened to find a dog..Muffy, sleeping outside on an old piece of cardboard.
A chip in Muffy’s neck ID’d her owners and after several days of searching for a current phone number, officials tracked down Natalie Lampard, who had not seen Muffy since she disappeared from her garden in Brisbane 9 years ago.
“When the RSPCA described her, I told them her name; I knew immediately it was our Muffy,” Ms Lampard said. “It was totally out of the blue – after 9 years, I thought she was long gone.”
The owners of the Melbourne house where Muffy was discovered said they found the dog about a year ago wandering along a street. But the mystery is where had Muffy spent the previous 8 years? And how did she get all the way to Melbourne – over 1,200 miles from her home in Brisbane?
“Nobody knows,” an RSPCA spokesman said. “The mystery continues for Muffy.”
Ms Lampard had gotten Muffy as a gift for her now daughter, the now 17-year old Chloe, and the two were inseparable.
“After the RSPCA called, I rang my daughter and asked her if she was sitting down, then told her they’d found Muffy,” Ms Lampard said.
“She’s over the moon and there’ll be a few tears shed when they see each other again. But just how she got down to Melbourne I guess is a mystery that will never be answered.”

A strange tale of a travelling dog, that’s for sure. If dogs could talk eh.