Well it’s a boiling hot day here in Britain, so it seems appropriate to choose some delightfully funny t-shirts to keep you feeling and looking cool in the sunshine.
Without further delay here’s our top 3, all these funny t-shirts and many more are available exclusively from our site, teesbox.

Number 3:

One of my very fave t-shirts this, and i wear it constantly, but more importantly it’s in at number 3 on our list, because what’s better than a nice beer on a hot day? A beer and a drive! (Teesbox doesn’t condone drinking and driving, its very naughty, ha condone looks a lot like condom).

Number 2…

With hot sticky days comes bikinis and with bikinis come camel tows!
I’m sure you all know what a camel toe is and looks lke by now, but just incase you’ve forgotten here’s a fine example from Jessica simpson..

Do cameltoe’s remind anyone else of the song ‘epic’ by Faith no more? Anyway, i’m moving on, if anything given the nature of our business we should be talking wet t-shirt contests and nothing else.
and here it is boys, and number one:

One of the funniest t-shirts around we reckon, you’ll surely brighten up everyones day, with your damp, bleak attitude towards life? And if not, kill them all we say! (but not before forcing them to buy dozens of our tees).

Jackalope, kiss, kiss.

Yeah that’s right folks, too busy to faff with our blog even, hence the lack of updates.
There’s that whole christmas rush thing on (but please keep buying, our beer supply depends on your hard earned capital coming our way), but you’ll be pleased to know and maybe slightly amazed to see a t-shirt design that’s brand new and exclusive to us here at teesbox.
Don’t go jerking off yet, let’s take a look at it first:

Click here to buy this funny t-shirt

Think of all the rebellious young ladies that will take fancy to you thinking you’re some heavy drinking bastard that’ll treat them like crap and be selfish in bed – that’s what ladies like, afaik anyway.

This shirt comes in 5 colours, red, pink, pale blue, navy blue and good old fashioned black, plus it comes in sizes small right through to XXL so there’s one for everyone, unless you’re a girl, ‘cos I can’t think why a lady would wear it, but just in case it comes in fitted sizes 10 and 12 (UK) anyway.
So that’s it for this rather brief blog post, I’m sure I’ll be posting again soon, and remember folks, keep buying our funny t-shirts.

Hit American TV show Heroes have used our Federal Boob Inspector t-shirt in their latest episode (Season 4, Episode 7). Unfortunately Hiro Nakamura picks the wrong shirt to wear (booooooooo) but we still thought it was pretty cool!

The scene is part of an ongoing plot where “master of time and space”  Hiro is returning to the past to right the wrongs of his life. Let’s hope Hiro realises he chose the wrong t-shirt to wear and comes back for the Federal Boob Inspector tee at a later date!

Don’t make the same mistake Hiro did, buy a Federal Boob Inspector tshirt now @ TeesBox.com!

So you nerdy nerds, these are for you:

In at number 3:

Don’t you just hate it when you see someone from your past, like from school or something and they see you and run up to you all excited, chat for 2 mins and then say:
“Dude, you used to be cool!?!”
Eugh, seriously, no I didn’t. Losers. For more details go here

Umero Numero 2?

Do you miss floppy disks? Or snigger at there lowly 1.44mb capacity. If so then this is the t-shirt for you my friend. It’s a little rude, but in a geeky way. Who knows maybe some fine lady will want to see if you hae any other 3.5″ floppies on your person (Like stashed in the soles of your shoes with a couple of SNES Roms and a midi file of the Wombles theme tune all hidden safely away). Huzzah! See here for more details on this nerd t-shirt

And the big ONE…

It’s the classic…

Screw GUI’s, long live DOS, there was atime typing away with clever stuff on your PC (or should i say IBM compatible personal computer) made you look cool..ish. Show your nerdy ways with this hilarious t-shirt, it’s a good way to make friends (and probably enemies aka bullies) too – the people the understand the gag will enjoy it. Check it out here

As you’ve no doubt seen we offer a very generous XL and XXL size on all of our funny t-shirts, and this has been a hit with those of you of a more portly disposition. We’ve even got some designs that are funny just for people with a belly, and so without further ado (a doo?sp?) here they are, in no particular order, they’re all equally funny I guess.
They’re all available only from www.teesbox.com

Why have a 6 pack, when you can have a barrel?
Click here for details and to order this shirt. It’s great for going boozing in too, so you can’t go wrong.
I’m not pregnant, I’m just fat
Click for info on this t-shirt
You might think it’s just for women, but I disagree, it’s as (if not more) hilarious on men as it is on women, or mixed genders, or whatever other options there are of gender out there .
I’m chubby and it hurts to run t-shirts:

I’m chubby t-shirts, buy ‘em here.

I see this guy running near home all the time, well ‘jogging’ ifyou want to be pedantic, and he’s huge, sweating like a P I G and looking like he hates every second of it, so this t-shirts inspired for him, and created for everyone out there like him. If you’re not the most athletic person on the planet and you’re jogging to save yourself from the Doritos based heart attack which is almost inevitable then buy this shirt now.
Na na na na na BATMAN!
This shirt says it all. Plus it picks on Batman, don’t you just loathe his right wing ass? Running some massive corp which is fuelling his super hero fetish and keeping petty thieves of the streets, why don’t you pick on the corporate whores an mega tycoons out there you fascist fuck!

If you need to buy this shirt in extra extra large we congratulate you, you really thrashed that stupid disease! Click here to buy

Smile if you screw fat guys t-shirts
Fat? Get smiled at? Then this is the shirt for you me thinks. Maybe they’ll feel obliged to sleep with you after grinning and reading your shirt, or at least giving you a blowjob. Buy it here!

If you like building stuff and that sort of thing then these funny slogan shirts are for you:

recommended for landscape gardeners and builders.
Great looking t-shirt, just subtle enough to wear anywhere, and we know that you do dig all those hot girls holes that you see.

recommended for handymen, DIY enthusiasts etc.
Love drilling stuff with your bit? Celebrate your power tool with this funny t-shirt.

recommended for tow truck drivers and anyone that likes tight panties.

recommended for plumbers and bathroom specialists.
And…if you drive a bus, please, please wear this beauty, it’ll probably get you sacked, but think of the fun you’ll have:

So there you have it, the majority come in 5 different colours to suit your work and range from sizes small, medium, large, extra large, right up to the mighty extra extra large for the more burley workman, which most of you, no doubt are. Don’t give up the bacon sandwiches. If you are on the big side by the way, why not check out our I beat anorexia t-shirts,it’s ironic and delightful., though for some reason people keep buying them in little sizes like fitted 10′s and stuff, maybe they don’t get the irony or something.
Check out these t-shirts and many more only at teesbox t-shirts here.

I was speaking to a friend the other day (wow), and he reminded me of a pretty entertaining story that happened to him – he got this date with this girl with a seriously slutty reputation, and, keen to get the whole “virginity” thing out of the way, thinking his moment was in, got all prepared (i.e. pissed out of his face with her). So anyway they go back to hers, strip, climb into her bed…and wait for it, she gives him a peck on the cheek rolls over and says “i’m tired, night”. Ouch, what a bitch, it just proves that half those girls who are sluts aren’t really, they’re kinda “wannabe sluts” or, maybe a more appropriate phrase would be a tease.

Buy this tease t-shirt here

I remember loads of girls who were teases at school, so I know there’s plenty of you out there who should be wearing this t-shirt.
But incase you’re a guy we’ve got something for you, an illustration of what a tease may look like, should you see one on you travels:

Odds that she’ll put out: 0/10 Odds that you’ll think about it: 10/10
They didn’t look that good at my school, I missed out, or maybe I should be greatful they were’nt hotter/ more frustrating.

If you’re wondering ‘what’s up with the title?’ well, I accidentally typed ‘on line’ rather than ‘on Eileen’, and I thought it worthy enough Freudian slip to stay there.
Well this is one rude t-shirt, and anyone that’s ever heard “Come on Eileen” by Dexy’s Midnight Runners will surely see the funny side of this t-shirt (below):

Click here to buy a “I came on Eileen” funny t-shirt
The main question, is, where would one come on Eileen, there’s so many interesting areas to try it. For this answer I turned to my old pal, Wikipedia.
I discovered a lot of things about cumming on ladies, all interesting. But the best bit (like with so much in life) was the pictures, check some of them out:

The chick with the brown hair who’s in 4 out of the 6 pictures looks fun, what won’t she do!? Not like the one in the middle row on the right, who looks gutted. Who’s drawing these things anyway? “Oh I know, I remember last time I was on wikipedia, and I was looking at Pearl Necklaces and there wasn’t an image, I think I’ll go and draw a [hot] cartoon for it.”

Anyway, I’ll leave you this paragraph I found on the wiki page entitled Spermophagia – the ingestion of semen for erotic and spiritual benefits:

“Several tribes of Papua New Guinea (including the Sambia and the Etoro) believe that semen provides sexual maturation among the younger men of their tribe. To them, sperm possesses the manly nature of the tribal elders, and in order to pass down their authority and powers, younger men of their next generation must eat/drink their elders’ semen. This fellatio and seminophagia custom commences among pre-pubescent males and post-pubescents.^“

Nassssty! Sucking some old dude off? I wouldn’t want to be in their tribe, I’d want to be in the one where all the MILFs have to suck you of when you’re a horny thirteen year old and are required to “milk” you at least once a day thereafter.

Todays review:

Click to view and hopefully buy!

So yeah, there’s a joke and it’s kinda sex releated on this t-shirt so I figured how about some ammusing sex facts? Ok here goes:

Male and female rats may have sex twenty times a day. wow.

For every ‘normal’ webpage, there are five porn pages. I can’t even pretend to be suprised by this one!

A man’s beard grows fastest when he anticipates sex.

Male bats have the highest rate of homosexuality of any mammal. Haha, gay bats, that just sounds funny.

a nasty one:
“Formicophilia” is the fetish for having small insects crawl on your genitals.

a bizarre one:
“Ithyphallophobia” is a morbid fear of seeing, thinking about or having an erect penis.

Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool, here in the UK – but only in tropical fish stores. Wow, I might go and get me a goldfish or two, and a good squeeze.

An adulterous Greek male was often punished by the removal of his pubic hair and the insertion of a large radish into his rectum. Ha, I wouldn’t want to be the guy that dishes out the punishment.

The world’s youngest parents were 8 and 9 and lived in China in 1910.
I bet it was in whatever the Chinese equivilent of a council estate was.

The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation. That’s just dumb.

A pig’s orgasm lasts for 30 minutes. Put your hands up if you’re envious.

And lastly probably the stupidest one of the lot…

Donald Duck comics were once banned from Finland because Donald doesn’t wear pants. I don’t think there’s anything else to say about this.

Here’s our countdown of the top funny slogan t-shirts, only available to buy at teesbox.com

SO here goes:

slogan number five:

Well, what can we say about this one? It’s for ladies only, unless you’re a dude with problems. It’s a beauty in my opinion, for anyone that appreciates a little irony, having “stop looking at my boobs” written across ones tits is about as ironic as you get. Oh, and as guys, we know all ladies secretly love you looking at them, why else would they ever display clevage if it wasn’t there to be enjoyed see?

slogan number four:

Now, I hope this one’s self explanitory, but I also know some of you reading this are probably pretty slow, but I’m still not explaining it.

slogan number three:

Get it? This t-shirt only comes in 2 colours, pale blue and navy blue, and it says “this shirts only blue if i’m thinking about breasts”, so consequently wearing this meens you’re always thinking about them. And who can blame you? Not us.

slogan number two:

So this slogan’s a bit more offensive than the funny ones above it, but don’t you love this t-shirt? I suspect if you trying wearing it, you really won’t look like a people person, which is great, no having to stand up for crusty old ladies on the bus, no having to be polite to some loser who thinks you’re their best buddy, it’s bliss.

and finally

the number one funny slogan t-shirt is…

It’ll make you and everyone around you laugh. I’m not sure if it’s a terrible choice of t-shirts to wear on a first date, or a hilarious one, try it and let us know.
All I can say is… Wine them, dine them, take them back to yours fo “coffee”, spread those legs real wide apart and release your wonderful smell and ruptuous noise. They’ll love it. Maybe.

So for todays pick I chose this little delight of a shirt:

press here to buy it
OR
press here to check out the rest of our t-shirts
Speaking of urine, has anyone else seen a “shewee”? It’s basically a penis attachment for women. Check the site out, it’s hilarious www.shewee.com, and as a male I find the instructions very funny too..
Step 1:
Undo trousers. Push underwear to one side. Place Shewee securely against body with outlet pipe directed away from body.

step 2:
Aim urine to a suitable place – away from feet, into a toilet or a container.

step 3:
When finished, pull funnel away, wipe- liquid repellent coating ensures no drips.

step 4:
Place reusable Shewee back into resealable container.

Tip! Practise with Shewee in the shower to find the best position for you.

It’s crazy, people are really going to piss on (okay, through) something and then put it back in their bag or pocket? eww, nasty. I don’t much like the idea of millions of women pissing in the shower either, I’m sure it’s someones fetish, but it ain’t mine. Surely it’s a little tricky to work, I’d be real suprised if the wee doesn’t end up running down their legs and stuff. What’s with all the penis envy anyway? It makes it sound like having a dick and being able to piss 4 foot up your favourite tree will solve all your issues, it doesn’t, sadly. I’m not even sure in reality it’s much easier to take a leek outside as a guy (with our in built “he wee”) than a girl, if the girl is wearing a skirt I suspect it’d be easier for them, especially if they’re going commando.
Jackalope

So my review today:

Click here to buy this t-shirt, or check the rest of our t-shirts out here

So I was at a bit of a loss about what to say about this t-shirt. Like it’s a slogan t-shirt but you can already see that so what’s even the point saying it. Next I checked out Image search, I suspected it’d be mostly “good girls” getting exploited sort of pictures, lots of skin and the such, I was dissapointed. Nearly every result is of that (suprisingly awful singer) “Rihannah”, due to her album or song ‘Good Girl Gone Bad’ other than moan about her though and her love of singing about umbrella ella ella’s there’s not much to say. One thing that did come to mind though with liars instantly was Milli Vanilli, you remember them, they recieved the Grammy for best new artist way back in 1990, and they looked cool (at the time). But then it all went wrong and while doing a ‘live’ gig the vocal track they were miming to skipped and it’d all been lie, they had to give back the Grammy and admitt they’d not actually sung the song.
Them were the days.
Jackalope.

Ah, our second review, that’d be II in Roman Numerals…No..no.. must resist urge to go back to random time frame picks and their glorious array of X’s and V’s.
As you may, or may not know the MOD here in the UK released lots of details about UFO and alien encounters between 1981 and 1996 this week. The “X-Files”, I was going to paste in a bunch of articles about it, but frankly I’m too lazy, and half othem are probably silly anyway, like them “lemonhead alien” ones, though that’s actually one of the more convincing stories and there’s a few that are very convincing in there.
I’m not sure why aliens seem to like probing peoples anuses (should that be anusi? I’m not sure on the plural) so much, but this funny t-shirt celebrates it, so basque in its gentle humour:

Click here to buy! The shirt’s available in 7 sizes, 2 styles and 5 great colours.
If you do know what aliens are looking for with their probing, why not let us know, I’ve watched every X-files episode and I’m still non the wiser, oh and what’s the deal with turning cows inside out? You’d think if you travelled 70 lightyears to get here you’d do something more fun than that… maybe they’re not satisfied with PacMan? The one thing I love most of all about aliens and UFO’s is all the big glowing lights… like if you’re trying to hide and be secret a 10,000 watt bulb ain’t the way to do it. Infact neither is flying around in a big silver disk over towns, can’t they paint it blue or something to match the ol’ sky? A few fluffy clouds on it’s underside and those flying saucers might no look so intimidating to us mere humans?
Jackalope.

So isn’t it every guys fantasy to get stuck with a hot, horny and frankly a little pervy nurse?

“now take off those pants, I need a sperm sample delivered asap on my breasts” Yeah, we wish. Anyway, we’ve got a nurse on this rude t-shirt who’ll verify the size of your large organ, and she ain’t talking about your intestines (or so we assume, “you should see the size of this guys liver”)

Click ‘ere to buy this t-shirt
I wonder how many people have actually got to be nailed by a (hot) nurse, probably a lot fewer or more (I’m keeping my options open) than you’d imagine. If any nurses read this by chance, maybe you could come and inspect the lower half of my body, just to make sure everything is working as it should.
These t-shirts come in a range of five colours, red, blue, navy blue, black and pink. They also come ina wide range of sizes, small, medium, large, extra large and XXL t-shirts for men, and size’s 10 and 12 for women so no matter what the size (and gender) of the patient we’ve got something for you!
Keep making sure your organs are working properly and visit us again soon.
Jackalope

A great t-shirt today, both funny AND rude, what more could a mortal ask for- well maybe there is some stuff but we bet you can’t get much of it for a mere £10.99?

So far we’ve only sold these to men, i cant see why a lady would buy one of these t-shirts, but who knows, I’m sure some one out there will want one.
Click here to buy of of these funny t-shirts for men or click here to have a gander at the rest of our funny t-shirts for men and women!
You know though, some men can suck it themselves, “autofellatio” – i’d avoid searching it on google image search, unless that kinda thing floats your boat. Apparently (according to the ever accurate Wikipedia) approx 2 or 3 men per every thousand can perform this..act..on themselves, i guess theres a reason why natures stopped us evolving that way though, otherwise we’d never have the need to leave the house. It’s be kinda like the infinity snake, you know the ouroboros thing, like in Red Dwarf on the side of the box Lister was found in.
I doubt you could live on eating and drinking your soldiers all day long, but I’m no scientist. I’m just here to sell t-shirts.
Jackalope