Ah funny AND rude t-shirts today:
Click here to buy one of these t-shirts
Click here to check the rest of our t-shirts out.
Wether you enjoy banging or playing drums, or both then this is the t-shirt for you.
Speaking of instruments and stuff I keep seeing a Nintendo ad for a game called Rhythm Paradise..
You have to tap the Ds’s screen in time with the characters on screen and thus build up your time keeping and rhythm etc. Maybe it’s just me but shouldn’t this game have a cover more like this:
They could still use the same catchphrase “can you keep up with the rhythm?” but the on screen visuals would be much more entertaining we reckon. In fact maybe it should be on the national curriculum and maybe instead of a game you should get an actual lady to practise on, she could say “faster”, “slower” and even add an extra dimension “go deeper” to it all. I bet it’d be everyones favourite class in no time.
It could replace those boring music classes where you have to sit playing some crappy casio keyboard for 50 mins?
I don’t know where they’d get the ladies from, but I doubt we’re to far away from being able to create and clone a horny blonde (i.e. the perfect woman) in a lab somewhere.
Interesting stuff anyway, if you find it offensive it’s ment to be humorous, and if you don’t find it humorous then it’s ment to be serious.
Time for another line up of new t-shirts, people.
Here’s todays:
Click here to buy one of these funny comedy I heart drunk girls t-shirts
Drunk girls amaze and inspire us regularly. What won’t they do? We got some pretty pictures of them, most we can’t show you but here’s a few entertaining ones:
Look what a great time she’s having, we reckon the panties came off 5 mins after the photo was taken (check out the smile on the guys face) and a great time was had by all.
Maybe not quite as inviting pose as the first girl, but we appreciate she co-ordinated the boots and sick bucket.
She’ll let you do anything you want to her, any hole, any time (as long as it’s while she’s still wasted).
A whole pile of drunk girls, we’d put our money on the one on the right in the red and black top, she’s all touchy feely over the other girls, but she’s kinda left out of the pile, we’d happily lay on top of her for a bit to make her feel better though.
Anyway, that’s enough pictures for now. Before you go don’t forget to have a butchers at our funny, rude and sometimes offensive t-shirts. They’re all great value and all the shirts come in a wide range of colours ad sizes to suit everyone. Happy drunk girl hunting.
Jackalope
Ah, XXII, so it’s come to this.
Well we got a rude t-shirt today, as some one who loves innuendo and is a closet (or not so closet if you’ve met me) nerd this is one of my fave t-shirts on teesbox comedy and rude t-shirts
Click here to buy one of these rude floppy t-shirts!
I miss the old days of floppy disks, even ZIP disks are kinda retro nowadays (but they’re too underground to make an innunedo out of now). I’ve fond memories of passing on a 4mb MP3 file and having to use two floppies to do it. USB flash sticky thingies lack that certain je ne sais quoi.
It comes in a range of seven different sizes, small, medium, large, extra large and an extra extra large, for those of you who’ve maybe spent a little bit too long sat in front of the pc.
Five different colours of t-shirts are available, red, navy blue, pale blue, black and pink. Personally I’d pick navy or black, they just look the coolest, plus it’s the two colours I most associate with disks.
Have a great weekend, with lots of drink and exposed body parts (minus anything that should be covered by one of our tees).
Jackalope
A rude t-shirt for you today as my random-ish pick of the time frame, check it out:
Click here to buy one of these rude t-shirts
I’ve had one or two people come up to me and ask me about this t-shirt, thinking it’s some kind of AA (that’s AAA if you’re in the US) promo, like your Ford Escort packs up and they’ll tow it off with a camel, which, I admit would rock. Maybe they should think about it, I don’t know how much a camel can pull but I’m sure the comedy value alone would make up for the impracticalities of it all.
Anyway, for all of those out there in the know, it’s obviously a play on camel toe, something that is best described in pictures rather than words I think.
First let’s look at what is required to make the camel tow (or camel toe) shape:
Oh, wait, nudity is bad! None of that sort of thing here, we don’t want you getting so hot under the collar you’re hands are to busy to work the keyboard to buy lots of our unusual funny, rude, offensive and sometimes obscene t-shirts
And if you were just here looking for pictures of a rude and obscene nature and not to buy any t-shirt then you can just get lost.
Jackalope
Now I love all teesbox funny and rude t-shirts but this one’s gotta be one of the best of the best:
Hilarious to wander round in, but epecially funny if you’re actually doing some digging, if you’ve bought this and have a picture of you digging a hole (the earthy kind) wearing it we’d love to see.
Click to buy one of these rude t-shirts anyway. It doesn’t matter wether you’re a horny pervert or a simple landscape gardener, we don’t discriminate!
Here’s a picture of three holes that we dig here at teesbox t-shirts:
It’s wimbledon (or Wombledon) season so first we have Maria Sharapova, hinting at a hole she has hidden away, the outlines can be seen quite easily though, and I can really imagine getting to work hard on it with my enormous spade:
_____________
This next ones very pretty and fully exposed this time, some spillage round the edges shows it has been dug hard and deep, but the rewards are obvious:
__________________
And last but not least the only hole that can penetrate your ear (except for some kind of inverted hole, aka mounds, Ref pic: Ms Sharapovas chest)
That’s enough holes for now, if there ever can ever be enough holes, for further viewing why not check out google image search, but not before buyng a bunch of stuff off of us, your old pals.
Jackalope
A fine new shirt in our midst today, without further wasting of time here it is:
Click here to buy one of these rude t-shirts right now!
I wasn’t sure what to say on this one, but old wikipedia helped me out as per usual, check out the table below, and see how generous your testicles are:
| Time after first ejaculation (months) |
Average volume (milliliter) |
Liquification | Average sperm concentration (million sperm/milliliter) |
|---|---|---|---|
| 0 | 0.5 | No (1) | 0 |
| 6 | 1.0 | No (1) | 20 |
| 12 | 2.5 | No/Yes (2) | 50 |
| 18 | 3.0 | Yes (3) | 70 |
| 24 | 3.5 | Yes (3) | 80 |
Note 1 – Ejaculate is jellylike and fails to liquify.
Note 2 – Most samples liquify. Some remain jellylike.
Note 3 – Ejaculate liquifies within an hour.
Haha jelly like 
It’s a pity it doesn’t have ages on rather than just time after blowing your load for the first time, but if you haven’t noticed yourself, it decreases from then on, here’s a wiki quote to prove it:
The force and amount of semen that will be ejected during an ejaculation will vary widely between men and may contain between 0.1 and 11 milliliters.
I reckon I produce about 50 milliliters, maybe more. It’s kinda like a supersoaker except the pumping action is more interesting, and it’s not for kids! so yes, get buying this new rude t-shirt, maybe if you go and donate some sperm the nurse at the clinic will be so impressed with the message on your shirt she’ll want to come and watch you, or maybe even help a little.
Finally a rude t-shirt, we do rude and offensive shirts too but as I guess you may or may not have noticed there’s a lot of general comedy, which is fine but I love a good rude one.
Whatever, here’s the t-shirt:
and, as always, click here to buy this rude t-shirt
So what can I say, for all you MILF’s out there this is the shirt for you. And we think this is a pretty big market, there’s lots of slightly older hotties out there.
I’m always suprised by how many people don’t get these acronyms, if you’re wondering what the hell a MILF is just type it in on Google (preferably image search it for extra titillation). Failing that, just check out the very slightly rude and a little hot pic below:
If you’re wondering where I got such a picture I’ll let you in on a little secret, I wander round town with a camera waiting for exciting opportunities to see body parts I shouldn’t be able to see…that and laughing at other peoples funny t-shirts of course.
SO if you ever see a Jackalope taking photos up your skirt and down your top please oblige by removing your panties and/or slipping your bra off. It’s a public service.
Don’t forget to have a butchers at our homepage, full of the funniest, rudest and most obscene t-shirts in the UK.
For my 16th pick I’ve chosen this..err.. tasty little t-shirt.
Click here to buy one of these hilarious, slightly rude, funny t-shirts
If you’ve ever eaten a certain brand of butter (or I guess not butter) – which I add this t-shirt is in no way affiliated with and you’ve ever seen a cat lickin’ its ass you’ll get this t-shirt.
I was thinking, shouldn’t cats and dogs evolve or something to use paper, BUT, maybe it is them who has evolved and us that’s left in the dark ages either having to use a paper or leaf or some such or even getting some one else to lick our ass holes for us. I bet all the cats and dogs out there are pissing themselves laughing at us mere humans wiping away like Kimberly-Clark junkies.
Like all our shirts this is exclusive to teesbox.com, click here to check out the rest of our t-shirts
It’s available in a range of colours and seven different sizes, from a ladies fitted size 10 right up to an extra extra large size. If you can perform the stunt of licking your own ass (and aren’t a cheater who’s had some ribs removed) we’d love to hear from you.
Jackalope – the funny bunny.
wow-ee,XV! Howtime flys when you’re having fun.
OK so here’s todays random t-shirt funny pick thing…
Click here to buy this funny t-shirt
Ok so it’s clearly a pun on sexual predator (which I can only assume is a horny Predator – of the Alien vs Predator kind) but we’ve all had textual predators, you know those people who can’t leave you alone for five seconds without making your phone make that stupid “you’ve got text” noise.
And what’s worse it’s ays for something really dumb and pointless “I’m at McDonalds! LOL”, wow big deal. Aleast when people Twitter this shit you dont have to put up with it being a personal message directed at you and having your phone beep. You know they’re only doing it too so they’ll get lots of replies and make everyone think they’re popular.
I heard this thing ages ago on the news about some teenage girl who’sent like 3000 texts in a day, what a waste, she should be learning how to pleasure men, not fiddle with phones.
Anway, this supercool t-shirt is available in pink, navy bl, pale blue, black and a vivid red. It also comes sizes S through to the mighty XXL.
Get it bought. Now. Jackalope.
Yeah, so today was a “teesbox funny t-shirts boardmeeting” yeah, that’s right we have board meetings just like Microsoft and stuff but ours are beer fueled, so don’t be all like “oh jackalope, your typing sucks today” or “your grammar is lame” and stuff today, because, like any respectable cool person I’ve had plenty of drink.
So err, yeah I’d like to take the chance to endorse some beer t-shirty thing, umm let me look, this will do.
Yeah buy this obscene and funny t-shirt now
Yup, buy it. If you buy us drink and you’re pretty and have gicantic (am i spelling that right?) breasts we might be interested, but only if you were born (and still are) a lady.
No boys please. Speaking of all those in-y and out-y bits we noticed one of our team members going to frequent a toilet rather often where topless -and sometimes bottomless ladies were on show, coincidence, we think not! It’s either that or his psycho hose beast ex was down there too.
I’m sure he’ll be thrilled anyway if he ever reads this and realises I’ve blogged about him in our funny t-shirt blog to the whole entire world. Ha. Funny.
Anyway, whatever. Jackalope.
All new t-shirts are here of a seriously rude and suggestive nature.
Click here to buy one of these rude drilling t-shirts
So why not offer your drilling services out today? Maybe you can even make a little money putting your bit into holes.
You know, i searched wikipedia for some drill ideas, like what to write here it contained the word “hand tools” which made me chuckle, and also drills tend to be cheaper in the UK than the US (yawn), which is odd actually ‘cos us folks in the UK normally get rip off prices for everything.
But one thing that really stood out to me on that wikipedia page was one of the images, it’s not the normal rude girlie pictures that normally catch ones eye, instead it was a funny looking kid with a drill. (see below)
I enlarged the pic and found it said Boy with Down Syndrome assembling a book case. Maybe it’s just me but I’d be reluctant to give any kid that age (what is he, like 7?) a power tool, never mind one that’s got a problem. I’m impressed though, I tried to drill a hole through a plastic plant pot the other day with one and it was harder than I assumed it would be. Mainly cos the battery was low I think. Keep on drillin’ kid, keep on drilling.
Dont forget to check out the rest of our tees, and good news, we now sell our funny t-shirts on amazon, though they’re cheaper here anyway, so who know’s why you’d want to buy them there, but whatever.
Jackalope you’re rude slave of information and disabilities.
Ah, number 8. Todays teesbox rude t-shirts pick is a shirt that celebrates all that is bollocks:
Click here to buy on of these rude t-shirts
So, we’ve decided it’s appropriate to list some of the things we think are bollocks (or bullocks) with life- not the serious stuff, you won’t find poverty and cutting down the rainforest here. We’re not that high brow.
Adverts
Ok it’s an obvious one to start with, but seriously how annoying can they make them? £3.50 magazines with 20 pages of adverts and a million flyers? And let’s not forget the hilarious and very very un- funny crazy frog and “This isn’t just a shitty advert, it’s a Marks and Spencers shitty advert”. Thanks to the horrible economy at least we don’t have to put up with those Ocean Finance and Picture the Loan ads though.
Dolphins
What’s their deal? Why do they want to impress us so much… you don’t see any other fish (and no, I’m not going to call them mammals, they can get lost) being such try hards. All that flipping and weird noises… why bother? If I was one I’d just skulk around the bottom of the sea eating stuff and making babies, maybe occasionally surfacing to knock over rowing boats. I had the chance to swin with some once, it didn’t exactly take me long to decide against it. Jerks.
BO
Why can’t you just buy deodrant? I’m not talking about people that are about to jump in the shower after running 10 miles, I mean those guys who you stand behind in the Post Office and stink so bad they make you want to vomit on your mail.
Brain Power
People are always saying the human brain’s the most powerful amazing computer in the world. No, it’s not, I’ve got a 1996 DELL that can run circles around you all. It might only have 32MB of memory and a 0.8GB Hard Disk but it’ll still thrash you all. I want a brain with a proper photographic memory, that can be upgraded and will store all the info you put in perfectly – all those test and exams would be easy ‘cos all they are is a memory test really so you’d always get A’s. Oh yeah, and I really want telekinetic powers, you could go Carrie (or at least The Craft) on anyone that pisses you off.
Jackalope, the angry bunny.
Hmmmm, for todays pick I thiiiiink I’ll pick you… (say it like those losers on Pokemon do, you know what I meen “I choose you- crappyasaur” but alot more nonchalantly).
Well, whatever, here it is…
Click here to buy one of these rude t-shirts
Always remember to inspect your airbags regularly, the first car to have standard dual airbags was in 1987 on a Porsche 944. Pretty interesting we’re sure you agree. Of course when we made this shirt we were kinda thinking about other airbags too, those ones women seem to acquire – either through horemones or a surgeon, we ain’t fussy.
We’re not the only company to have noticed this similarity as this classic Mercedes S-Class ad shows:
No wonder everyone wants a Merc so bad if those deploy in the event of an accident. I think they’d definatley speed up recovery time.
To help you learn we got you some airbag pictures, pictures are like reading but more fun and less boring.
First here’s some, 3 infact, one (undeployed) steering wheel mounted one, and two more (surely deployed, they can’t get bigger…can they?) on the person operating the vehicle.
Here’s another for you, there’s just the two in this picture, unlike the last 2 inflated ones though these have lost their firmness and turned saggy. Often this affect can be seen on ones people are equipped with too, not just vehicles
So remember wether you’re going for a ride in your car or on a woman to always strap yourself well in when you see that airbags are present.
Don’t forget to check out the rest of our funny and rude t-shirts
Jackalope
A new t-shirt has joined the ranks today, this one is for everyone who loves banging the drums, or banging anything else for that matter.
Click here to buy one of these new funny rude t-shirts
Dont worry if you dont own a drum kit, or can’t play -that doesn’t stop most people from trying, right? We’ll still let you buy one of these shirts. We’re sure you can always find something else to give a good, hard bang to with your sticks.
We’d like to give a hand to the drummers of the world, usually overlooked in favour of the lead singer, guitarist, and even the bloke with the triangle. To prove drummers can, and do, rock here’s just a few of our favourites at teesbox funny t-shirts
Neil Peart (Rush)
Wild drum solo’s set Neil The Professor” Peart apart from the rest, a vital part of Canada’s most succesful band ever, Rush… who I think are working currently on their 24th album!? Correct me if I’m wrong. Huge range of styles for one band, metal, pop, reggae, rock, you name it.
John Bonham (Led Zeppelin)
Thunderous drumming got John global fame, until his death on September 25th 1980, which immortalised his legacy forever in the rock music hall of fame.
Keith Moon (The Who)
We love The Who and Keith’s crazy, lunatic behaviour helped make the band, and the man a legend. One of the original self destructive rock stars, and probably the only person who ever managed to run himself over with his own car. Dying at age 32 from an overdose has made sure his legacy won’t be forgotten.
I’m really learning these roman numerals now, we’re competing with Rocky.
My pic today is this saucy, funny little number:
Click here to buy one of these rude t-shirts
Click here to check out the rest of our funny t-shirts
To celebrate the blowing of ones horn, and these awesome rude t-shirts we found out some weird stuff. It seems oral’s been popular for hundreds of years, in Ancient Greece, giving head was known as “playing the flute”… pretty classy. I guess it must have been lame if you were a musician though “I played the flute with 6 other guys for 2 and a half hours tonight”. Something else that suprises me is that in the western world- and the UK where we are, is that doctors were advising up until 1976 that the ingestion of sperm could cause induce premature labour in pregnant women (but we’re sure that pearl necklaces increase chest size and facials give you nice skin). We now know that’s not true of course, so you’ve no excuses not to choke down gallons and gallons of jizz.
Just to show you how fine and classy this act is, we got you a painting by the 18th Century French artist Édouard-Henri Avril, it’s hot, but remember.. it is art ..and,no, we don’t get the difference between fine art and porno either..
Jackalope, the love bunny
